‘Fired Up’
Season 3, Episode 19 - Aired March 11, 2014
Jess gets Coach a job at her school. Meanwhile, Schmidt needs legal counsel after a man injures himself in the storefront he rented.
Quote from Coach
Coach: I'm what?
Jess: We had to do budget cuts, and we have to let two people go, and you're my friend, and I couldn't stop it. I'm so sorry.
[The boys' basketball team runs in with a custom-made jacket for Coach]
Boy: We all pitched in.
Coach: Thanks, guys. I'm not coach anymore. I'm just Coach.
Quote from Nick
Bill Berklan: So, are you gonna sit, or?
Nick: No, I'm gonna stand. 'Cause isn't that what we are doing? Standing... for the little guy?
Schmidt: [quietly] What is the plan?
Nick: Injustice! [drops screws in Schmidt's hand] I will not stand for it. That is why I will sit right now. I will sit down in this chair... [puts feet on table, falls back] You're negligent! Aah! Get off me! My neck! My neck!
Bill Berklan: Seriously? The fall-down on the chair bit? Is this your first case?
Nick: Yes, it is. And that is why I'll file petition on petition. You're gonna wake up in the morning to paperwork. You're gonna go to bed at night to paperwork. So how about this, gentlemen? You pay the $20,000 settlement to your client yourself, and you'll never see our faces again. What do you call a lunatic who's only got one case and no hobbies? Your worst nightmare.
Quote from Winston
Winston: And the jury will see that there is no justice for the Hebrew man. Not in these so-called United States.
Nick: What is that that you're doing?
Winston: I can't get enough of this legal drama. Check this out. Favorite author, Grisham. Favorite TV show, Judging Amy. Favorite color, courtroom brown. Courtroom Brown. Damn, I wish that was my nickname.
Nick: Did you just think of that? 'Cause it was perfect, man.
Winston: Courtroom Brown.
Quote from Winston
Schmidt: What are you doing here?
Nick: I'm representing you.
Bill Berklan: Everything all right?
Schmidt: I'm a bit caught off guard. I wasn't expecting these two very real lawyers to show up today.
Winston: Well, we wanted to let you know that the entire firm is standing behind you. Besides, whether I sit in my office or in here it's all billable. Am I right, gentlemen? [laughter]
Quote from Coach
Coach: Run! Do not stop running or I will eat your faces and bodies! Keep running or I will murder your family! [quietly] I love this job. [loudly] You're pissing me off! This one. This one. I got my eye on you.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: An outrage! Been all over and I can't afford anybody. Unbelievable. Access to premium legal counsel should be every Jew's birthright.
Quote from Winston
Schmidt: What? Keep going.
Nick: Ow!
Schmidt: Just keep going.
Nick: What are you- Don't hit me. What are you hitting me for?
Bill Berklan: Is everything all right?
Winston: Sure it is. The meter's running. [laughter]
Quote from Nick
Stenographer: Mr. Miller: "Were you or were you not wearing oversized shoes in the store?" Mr. Baker: "I was not. I told you that." Mr Miller: "But are you sure?" Mr. Schmidt: "Shut up, Nick." Mr. Miller: "Let me do this. Ow. Stop it." Mr. Schmidt: "Stop what? You're hitting yourself." Mr. Miller: "You're a child." Mr.Schmidt: "A child would be a better lawyer." Mr. Furguson: "Children are our future." Mr. Berklan: "So true." Mr. Miller: "I need to regroup. I'm gonna stall a little bit. Watch this. Could the lady typer read that back?"
Quote from Winston
Winston: Listen, Bill, if you ever want to play with the big boys, you'll give me a ring, won't you?
Bill Berklan: [sighs] This is a baseball card.
Quote from Coach
Jess: Even though you don't work at Coolidge anymore, you'll still be Coach Coach to those kids.
Coach: It's Coach Coach.
Jess: Yeah, Coach Coach.
Coach: Coach Coach.
Jess: Coach Coa-
Coach: Coach Coach.
Jess: I'm sorry.