Jess: [on the phone] Coffee for one, a sundae for one, and the most tasteful, story-driven [whispers] adult film. Preferably a period piece. The farther in the past, the better. You know what I'm talking about, girl.
[later, Jess sobs]
Jess: [on the phone] Do you have anything in the Byzantine era? No? Okay, just a shot in the dark.