Abby: What are you guys doing here? Tailing me?
Schmidt: No.
Cece: Yes, we're tailing you. I know how you work: You glom onto guys and then you just bleed them dry. Well, you are not gonna do it to Schmidt. What's in the box?
Coach: Tell us what's in the box.
Abby: Zippers.
Cece: What?
Schmidt: [laughs] Z... Zippers, you guys.
Abby: Guy up there'll give you a great deal. He also loves crack.
Schmidt: Can we go now? Thank you, Abby, let's go.
Cece: My car is gone.
Schmidt: Well, that's not surprising.

Winston: Just looking at my Garbage Pail Kids. Jess makes me put 'em in a box. How are you gonna put art like this in a box? What's going on with you?
Winston: [quietly] Nothing...
[flashback:]
Jess: You will not tell Nick that you saw me here because then he'll get upset and I'm gonna have to move into my old room, and that means that we suck as a couple and that Abby was right and I cannot let that happen.
[present:]
Winston: Jess went to a hotel because sharing a room with you is driving her crazy. [relieved moaning] Dude, at really was a tough one to keep in, but, honestly, I held my own and I did my best.

Cece: I was worried about you, okay? I didn't want her to take advantage of you 'cause I know that you will do anything for the people that you care about.
Schmidt: Well, I guess I could say the same thing about you.
Cece: And, you know what, maybe Abby has changed.
Schmidt: I'm thinking about helping Abby lease a storefront for her jewelry. Is that crazy?
Cece: It's... It's amazing. Don't hold back.
Schmidt: Here. Here, I want you to have this.
Cece: Oh.
Schmidt: Abby made it. It's a cough drop and... these are hard candies.
Cece: I see that. I truly hate it.
Schmidt: You're welcome.

Nick: I know you didn't go to Sacramento. I know you went to a hotel to be by yourself.
Jess: Damn it, Winston!
Winston: [o.s.] Nick loved being alone, too!
Nick: Damn it, Winston!
Winston: [o.s.] That's for my ding-a-ling!

Abby: Uh-oh. Last time I saw you day-drinking was when you got kicked out of jazz ensemble.
Jess: I'm still pissed off about that. What does that mean, "too enthusiastic"?
Abby: How come you're not at the hotel? Did you and Nick break the bed? Because, legally, they cannot make you pay for that.
Jess: No. I was by myself.
Abby: Oh, I've broken the bed by myself. Big-time.

Jess: What are you doing?
Nick: Oh, just packing up your things and then I thought about what you would want and how you probably didn't want to move again, so I decided to do the right thing and just take your room.
Jess: My room's bigger.
Nick: Is it? I never-
Jess: Nice try.
Nick: All right. I got to move some stuff back then.

Jess: Yay!
Nick: Yay.
Jess: Cool.
Nick: Great.
Jess: Let's do this.
Nick: We can make it work.
Jess: You have to start washing your feet.