Benjy: Mom says you're having a tough time at school.
Adrian Monk: Huh?
Benjy: Something about a bully?
Adrian Monk: It's a misunderstanding.
Benjy: Mom says he wants to kick your ass.
Adrian Monk: No. I mean, yes.
Benjy: Remember Jeffrey Appella? Kept beating me up in the fifth grade? You said if I ran away from him, I'd be running away my whole life.
Adrian Monk: I said that?
Benjy: I hit him in the side one time, and he never bothered me again. You can't be afraid of everything, Mr. Monk.
Adrian Monk: Really?

Sharona: Adrian, she really wants to talk to us. She just gave me the address. She said it's very important.
Adrian Monk: Do you think we should go?
Sharona: It could be a job.
Adrian Monk: Do you want to leave now?
Sharona: Yeah.
Adrian Monk: Before we finish the game?
Sharona: Yeah.
Adrian Monk: Then you forfeit.

Adrian Monk: My wife went here. Did you know her? Trudy Ellison.
Iverson: No. I only been here a year.
Adrian Monk: She was valedictorian.
Iverson: Great. Congratulations.
Adrian Monk: She was on the yearbook committee-
Sharona: Adrian, he didn't know her.

Lieutenant Disher: Captain, Adrian Monk is downstairs.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Why?
Lieutenant Disher: The vice principal asked him to look into it. It turns out that Trudy, his former... ex-wife... late
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, I know who Trudy was, Lieutenant.
Lieutenant Disher: This is her alma mater. He'd like to come upstairs.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Hang on. Nobody move. What am I forgetting? We got the prints off the railing.
Lieutenant Disher: Yes, sir.
Captain Stottlemeyer: We've got photographs of everything, every angle. Did you bag the shoes?
Lieutenant Disher: Yes, sir. Done.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Medical examiner will get the tissue and the fibers.
Lieutenant Disher: Don't worry, sir. 'We're covered here.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You got the code...
Lieutenant Disher: Sir. We've got it.
Captain Stottlemeyer: All right. Let him up.

Sharona: What's Homicide doing here? It's supposed to be a suicide.
Lieutenant Disher: It's not a suicide until we say it's a suicide. This happens to be one.

Adrian Monk: She folded her jacket there? Why did she leave her shoes over here?
Captain Stottlemeyer: She jumped. She was taking antidepressants, and we found a note.
Lieutenant Disher: It was in one of her pockets.
Adrian Monk: It's printed.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yep.
Adrian Monk: Usually they're written longhand.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I've seen 'em printed. I've seen 'em written. I've seen 'em written in blood, I've seen 'em written in crayon. I've seen it all.

Adrian Monk: "To whomever I may have hurt, the world and it's problems are just too much. I am so sorry. Beth." I don't think Beth Landow wrote this note.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Why not?
Adrian Monk: Well, it should be "its", "l-T-S," no apostrophe. And then here it would be "whoever," not "whomever." This wasn't written by a, quote, "first-rate English teacher."
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, she was distraught.
Lieutenant Disher: She wasn't thinking straight.
Captain Stottlemeyer: It's a suicide note, for Christ's sake!

Sharona: And it was your car that she landed on, right?
Derek Philby: Yeah. Even if they can fix it, I can't imagine driving it. It just wouldn't It wouldn't feel right.
Adrian Monk: No, of course not. Of course not. Could I ask you something?
Derek Philby: Apparently, there's no stopping you.
Adrian Monk: Why did you park by the tower? Isn't there faculty parking near the classrooms?
Derek Philby: I was gonna take a jog after the S.A.T.s, so I wanted to park by the field. Which reminds me, I need to call a taxi to get home. I have the number in here somewhere.
Adrian Monk: You left your car alarm on?
Derek Philby: Hmm?
Adrian Monk: You left your car alarm on, but your doors were unlocked.
Derek Philby: I forgot. I guess I'm not perfect.
Adrian Monk: [chuckles] I guess you're not.

Adrian Monk: I think I'd like to spend a little more time with Mr. Philby, get to know him better.
Sharona: Adrian, you can't skulk around the school.
Adrian Monk: I'm not gonna skulk. I don't skulk.
Sharona: Stottlemeyer said the investigation is officially over.
Adrian Monk: She's right.
Arleen Cassady: We still haven't found a substitute to take Beth's class. [Monk smiles]
Sharona: Don't even think about it. They're teenagers.

Sharona: Oh, my God. Adrian. Adrian, are you okay? What happened?
Adrian Monk: Chalk dust. I have to go to the nurse. Can't breathe.
Sharona: Give me that chalk. Can you manage to sit? Okay, who threw this?
Boy: [coughing] Kyle!
Sharona: What's your name?
Kyle: I didn't do it.
Sharona: Look, I know when a man's lying, okay? I was married for three and a half years.
Kyle: I didn't do it.
Sharona: I know that smirk. My husband had that same stupid smirk on his face when he got back from Bally's, where, it turns out, he spent the weekend with Betsy Bennett, his so-called ex-girlfriend.
Kyle: Bally's? Lady, what are you talking about?
Sharona: Is that chalk on your hand? Maybe I should call your parents.
Kyle: You don't have to. My dad's a gym teacher here, and he's gonna be pissed.
Sharona: I'm really scared.
Kyle: You should be. [Sharona stomps on his foot] Ow, lady! You're gonna get fired!
Sharona: Yeah? I don't work here, chump.