Ambrose Monk: Then I heard gunshots.
Sharona: Are you sure?
Ambrose Monk: Four shots. It sounded like a Lane and Westing nine-millimeter.
Adrian Monk: Lane and Westing doesn't make a nine-millimeter.
Ambrose Monk: They did until 1992. I know that gun. I wrote the manual for it.

Ambrose Monk: I guess he didn't like the pie.
Adrian Monk: He was looking for something.
Ambrose Monk: Something inside the pie? Wait a minute. Cherry pie.
Adrian Monk: Yes, cherry pie.
Ambrose Monk: Cherry pie. Cherry pie. Cherry.
Adrian Monk: It's cherry! You can see it's cherry!
Ambrose Monk: There was something about a cherry pie in the paper three days ago.

Sharona: What is this?
Adrian Monk: Every newspaper since 1972.
Sharona: Oh.
Ambrose Monk: I am as God made me.
Adrian Monk: It's only three days ago. Wouldn't it be near the top?
Ambrose Monk: I have my own system.
Adrian Monk: What system is that?
Ambrose Monk: You wouldn't understand.

Ambrose Monk: So the pie was empty?
Adrian Monk: That's right.
Ambrose Monk: Is that it? Just gonna give up?
Adrian Monk: There's nothing else I can do.
Ambrose Monk: Well, thanks for believing me. Or at least pretending to. You going to stay?
Adrian Monk: No. I can't.
Ambrose Monk: Uh, I made... I made Dad's favorite uh, pasta primavera.
Adrian Monk: Ambrose, I- I- I have to go.
Ambrose Monk: Wait.
Adrian Monk: Sharona's waiting. He's not coming back.
Ambrose Monk: You're probably right, but just in case.

Ambrose Monk: Maybe I'll see you, uh, next week.
Adrian Monk: I don't think so. Take care of yourself.
Ambrose Monk: I love you.
Adrian Monk: Don't say that. Don't you say that. I'm no expert, but I know that people who love each other who care about each other don't go seven years without calling. Especially when I needed you most after Trudy.
Ambrose Monk: You think I didn't c-call because I didn't care?
Adrian Monk: Then why? What happened to you?
Ambrose Monk: Do you know why Trudy was in that parking garage on the day she died?
Adrian Monk: What are you saying?
Ambrose Monk: It was because of me.
Adrian Monk: You?
Ambrose Monk: She was doing me a favor. I needed cough medicine. I called her. I asked her to go...
Adrian Monk: Oh, my God.
Ambrose Monk: To the drugstore for me.
Adrian Monk: Don't do this.
Ambrose Monk: She wouldn't have been in that garage if it wasn't for me.
Adrian Monk: Oh, Ambrose.
Ambrose Monk: It was me, Adrian! It was me. It was my fault!
Adrian Monk: No, no. No, no, no.
Ambrose Monk: Adrian, it was my fault!
Adrian Monk: No, it was not your fault.

Pat van Ranken: Hi. I'm Pat Van Ranken from next door. You loaned my wife a bag of flour, remember? I wonder if I could borrow it back.
Ambrose Monk: Borrow it back?
Pat van Ranken: Yeah, I'm makin' chili.
Ambrose Monk: You don't use flour to make chili.
Pat van Ranken: Open the door. Open the door. Open the door. Open it.

Adrian Monk: Ambrose! Ambrose! Ambrose.
Ambrose Monk: Adrian.
Adrian Monk: Ambrose!
Ambrose Monk: Adrian.
Adrian Monk: Ambrose, we've gotta get out of here!
Ambrose Monk: I can't I can't find number eight. No.
Adrian Monk: What?
Ambrose Monk: I can't find number eight. Where's number eight?
Adrian Monk: Forget about the mugs!

Sharona: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Are you okay? [to Monk] I can't believe you went in. [to Ambrose] I- I can't believe you came out.
Ambrose Monk: I'm out?
Adrian Monk: You're outside. You're outside.
Ambrose Monk: I'm outside. Adrian, I'm outside.
Adrian Monk: I knew you could do it.
Ambrose Monk: My brother brought me outside.
Sharona: Yeah, he did.
Ambrose Monk: I think you've been looking for this. [gives Monk the shell casing] He brought me outside. I'm outside.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yes, you are.

Ambrose Monk: Adrian.
Adrian Monk: You talked to him?
Ambrose Monk: I told you he'd be back. He's in town on a business trip. He said he'd be here at 8 o'clock sharp. You gave up. But I never gave up. I never gave up. Never.

Frankenstein: [growls]
Ambrose Monk: How old are you? Because I have a rule, no one older than 14.
Frankenstein: [nods]
Ambrose Monk: Only one per customer. [Frankenstein paws through the bowl] What are you doing? Only one per customer. Did you hear what I said? No. No, only one per customer.
[Frankenstein hits Ambrose over the head with a pumpkin]
Natalie: Get out of here!
Adrian Monk: Hey! Hey!
Natalie: Ambrose, are you okay? Ambrose, can you move?
Ambrose Monk: Did he get more than one piece?