Natalie: I saw the guy running south towards the park. Maybe he's there.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Look, it's probably just some high school kid with the munchies.
Ambrose Monk: I don't think so. He was wearing dress shoes. They were Italian, Forzieris. You noticed that, right?
Adrian Monk: I'm not familiar.
Ambrose Monk: They're imported. They cost about $420 a pair. It's not exactly something a high school kid with munchies would be wearing.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Okay, it was a rich high school kid with the munchies.

Natalie: What about this one?
Ambrose Monk: That was taken the day before he left. He left because of me. I was driving him crazy, clinging to him. I was too needy.
Natalie: Mr. Monk says it was because of him.
Ambrose Monk: Nah, he's just saying that to make me feel better. It was me. It was me.

Natalie: Maybe it's fast.
Ambrose Monk: It's one of the most accurate clocks in the world. I wrote the manual for it.
Natalie: [holds Ambrose's arm] They'll be here.
Ambrose Monk: Natalie, uh... Can I ask you something? Would you ever, uh, consider, uh, going out with someone like me or to be more specific... Me? Of course, we can't actually go out. I mean, we can't go outside. But we can go anywhere else.
Natalie: Thank you, Ambrose. Thank you. But it's it's complicated.
Ambrose Monk: Okay. I understand. Withdrawn. I never said it. It never happened. I'll, I'll get the ice. My father likes a lot of ice. I remember he, he used to like clink it.
Natalie: Ambrose, sit down. Please. I can't go out with you because I work for your brother. You know, it would just get messy. You can understand that.
Ambrose Monk: Yeah.
Natalie: But if I ever have another job someday, I hope you'll ask me again.
Ambrose Monk: Really? So you're not saying no? That's like a... a maybe. You're saying maybe.
Natalie: I'm saying maybe.
Ambrose Monk: Can I tell my father? That we, we might have a date someday?
Natalie: Sure.
Ambrose Monk: I think he'd like that.

Adrian Monk: He's not coming.
Ambrose Monk: He'll be here. Why would... Why would he call and not show up?
Adrian Monk: Because that's what he does. We're better off.
Ambrose Monk: Don't say that. Don't say that!
Adrian Monk: We're better off!
Ambrose Monk: Don't you say that. Don't you dare say that! [takes candy bar]
Julie Teeger: Thought you said you didn't have any extra.
Ambrose Monk: I don't care. It's my candy. [to Monk] You know what your problem is? You have never learned to wait. Never!

Adrian Monk: Ambrose! Ambrose, don't eat the candy!
Ambrose Monk: I paid for it.
Adrian Monk: No, spit it out. Spit it out. It could be poisoned.
Ambrose Monk: What?
Adrian Monk: That's what this whole thing has been about. It's been spiked with tetrachlorodrine. Is there a Neptune bar in here?
Ambrose Monk: Not anymore there isn't.
Adrian Monk: Oh, my God! Natalie, call 911.
Natalie: My god!
Ambrose Monk: Thought it tasted funny. Tetrachlorodrine?
Adrian Monk: The guy down the street was trying to kill his wife.
Ambrose Monk: It's too late.
Adrian Monk: Don't say that, don't say that. Just get up, get up now! Natalie, help me.
Ambrose Monk: Adrian. Adrian. Tetrachlorodrine is a synthetic insecticide.
Adrian Monk: Natalie, help me!
Ambrose Monk: There is no antidote. I'll be dead in five minutes.

Ambrose Monk: Adrian, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Adrian Monk: What are you talking about?
Ambrose Monk: Dad.
Adrian Monk: Oh, no.
Ambrose Monk: I drove him away.
Adrian Monk: No.
Ambrose Monk: He couldn't stand me.
Adrian Monk: No.
Ambrose Monk: He couldn't stand me, Adrian.
Adrian Monk: It was my fault.
Ambrose Monk: No, I'm sorry.
Adrian Monk: It was me.
Ambrose Monk: You're a good brother, Adrian. I love you.
Adrian Monk: I love you.

Ambrose Monk: Don't cry, Adrian. Be strong now.
Adrian Monk: Is that another Neptune bar? [sniffs the bar] Where's the wrapper from the one he ate?
Paramedic: It's right here.
Ambrose Monk: What? What?
Adrian Monk: This one expired 11 months ago.
Ambrose Monk: That must be the candy bar left over from last year.
Adrian Monk: From last Halloween?
Ambrose Monk: That's why it tasted funny. That's why it tasted funny.
Adrian Monk: So this...
Ambrose Monk: This is the, this is the poison. [all laugh] That's why it tasted funny. That's why it tasted funny! This is the... This is the one with poison. I had, I had a stomachache. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Everyone got so upset.

Natalie: Ambrose, about our date. Is Friday okay?
Ambrose Monk: No, Natalie. That's okay. You don't have to. You thought I was dying.
Natalie: I'll be here Friday.
Julie Teeger: Hey, look. There's a note.
Adrian Monk: "Stopped by. Nobody home. Can't blame you. I wouldn't wait for me either. Dad. P.S. Ambrose, I'm proud of you for getting out of the house."
Ambrose Monk: He said he was proud of me? You think he'll be back?
Adrian Monk: I don't know.
Ambrose Monk: I think he'll be back. Maybe we should, uh, go inside. Let's go inside. It's better, inside. Excuse me.

Adrian Monk: Natalie works for me. Strictly professional, okay?
Ambrose Monk: Is she seeing anybody else?
Adrian Monk: Why? Why?
Ambrose Monk: ... No reason.