Monica: Well, I've tried everything. I give up. I guess I'm not gonna be the mom who makes the world's best chocolate chip cookies. I do make the best duck confit with broccoli raab. Kids love that, right?

Ross: Aw, Pheeb, come on, isn't there any relative that would have the recipe? What about your sister?
Phoebe: Oh, no, no. I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula is over my dead body. And that's not happening till October 15, 2032.
Ross: That's the day you're gonna die? See, darn it, I've got shuffleboard that day.
Phoebe: That's what you think.

Chandler: So you understand. I'd feel a lot more comfortable if you didn't tell people what happened. You know, I'm a little embarrassed about it.
Jack Geller: I understand completely. There's nothing more horrifying than embarrassing yourself in front of your in-laws. As a matter of fact, when I started dating Judy, I was unemployed and her father asked me what I did for a living. I told him I was a lawyer.
Chandler: What did you do when they found out?
Jack Geller: They never did. So if you ever see me giving them legal advice, just nod along.

Rachel: Well, Joey, I hate to admit it, but your way of sailing is a lot more fun.
Joey: Yeah. Hey, why don't you give a pull on that rope?
Rachel: We're not sailing.
Joey: Just pull on it.
Rachel: All right. Hey. Sandwiches.
Joey: What else?
Rachel: Here you go.
Joey: Thank you.
Rachel: Oh, wow.
Joey: What are you doing?
Rachel: Sorry.
Joey: What? Don't hold it like that. You're letting all the good stuff fall out.
Rachel: Oh. Whoops.
Joey: Careful! You're wasting good pastrami! Oh, my God. I'm my dad!

Monica: Hey, I know what I want.
Chandler: What we want, honey.
Monica: No, you don't want this.

Rachel: I've been sailing my whole life. When I was 15, my dad bought me my own boat.
Phoebe: Your own boat?
Rachel: What? What? He was trying to cheer me up. My pony was sick.

Chandler: Okay, Ross, we owe you a present.
Ross: Two. I've been engaged twice.

Rachel: How do you get the mainsail up?
Joey: Uh ... rub it?

Joey: You could at least save me a whole cookie.
Monica and Phoebe: No, no, no!
Joey: Women are mean!

Monica: Oh, my God. Chandler. I can't believe it.
Chandler: I know.
Monica: You gave my father a lap dance.
Chandler: Why do they put so much steam in there?
Ross: Because otherwise they'd have to call it the "room" room.