Nora Bing: [on TV]This is kind of embarrassing but occasionally, after I've been intimate with a man-
Chandler: Now, why would she say that's embarrassing?
Nora Bing: [on TV] I just get this craving for kung pao chicken.
Chandler: That's too much information!

Monica: [reading to coma guy] Let's see. Congress is debating a new deficit-reduction bill. The mayor wants to raise subway fares. The high today was 45. And teams played sports.

Phoebe: What about GIen? He could be a GIen.
Monica: Not special enough.
Phoebe: How about Agamemnon?
Monica: Way too special.

Nora Bing: I'm famished. What do I want?
Chandler: PIease, God, don't Iet it be kung pao chicken.
Nora Bing: Oh, you watched the show. What did you think?
Chandler: Well, I think you need to come out of your shell, just a-

Nora Bing: It's the Italian hand-Iicker, isn't it?
Ross: No. It's the hand he's Iicking.
Nora Bing: She's supposed to be with you?
Ross: You're good.
Nora Bing: Oh, Ross, listen to me. I have sold 1 00 million copies of my books, and you know why?
Ross: The girl on the cover with her nipples showing?
Nora Bing: No, because I know how to write men that women fall in Iove with. Believe me, I cannot sell a Paolo. People will not turn 325 pages for a Paolo. Come on, the guy's a secondary character. He's just a, you know, complication you eventually kill off.
Ross: When?
Nora Bing: He's not a hero. You know who our hero is?
Ross: The guy on the cover with his nipples showing?
Nora Bing: No, it's you.
Ross: PIease.
Nora Bing: No, really. Come on. You're smart. You're sexy.
Ross: Right.
Nora Bing: You're gonna be fine, believe me.

Chandler: What are you guys doing out here?
Ross: Uh, well, Joey and I had discussed getting in an early morning racquetball game. But apparently somebody overslept.
Joey: Yeah, well, you don't have your racquet.
Ross: No. No, I don't because it's being restrung. Somebody was supposed to bring me one.
Joey: Yeah, well, you didn't call and Ieave your grip size.
Chandler: Okay, you guys are spending way too much time together.

Rachel: Hey. What are you guys doing out here?
Ross: Well, ha, not playing racquetball.
Joey: He forgot to Ieave his grip size.
Ross: He didn't get the goggles.
Rachel: Well, sounds Iike you two have issues.

Phoebe: You going to the hospital tonight?
Monica: No. You?
Phoebe: No. You?
Monica: You just asked me.
Phoebe: Maybe it was a trick question.

Rachel: Central Perk is proud to present Miss Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: Thanks. I'd Iike to start with a song about a man I recently met who's come to be very important to me.
[singing] You don't have to be awake, To be my man, Long as you have brain waves, I'll be there to hold your hand, Though we just met the other day, There's something I have got to say- [sees Monica sneaking out of Central Perk]
Okay, thank you very much. I'm gonna take a short break.

Chandler: Okay, what the hell was that?
Ross: Phoebe just started-
Chandler: I believe I was talking to Joey. AII right, there, mother-kisser?
Joey: [laughing] Ha, mother-kisser. I'll shut up.