‘The One with Mrs. Bing’
Season 1, Episode 11 - Aired January 5, 1995
Chandler is uncomfortable when his mother, who writes trashy romance novels, comes to town. Meanwhile, Ross is down about Rachel's burgeoning romance with Paulo, and Monica and Phoebe compete to care for a guy who ended up in a coma as a result of their wolf whistle.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Are there no conscious men in the city for you two?
Quote from Joey
Ross: Is Chandler here?
Joey: Yeah.
Ross: Wait, come here. [pulls Joey out into the hallway] Okay, about Iast night. You know, Chandler. You didn't tell? Okay, because I'm thinking we don't need to tell Chandler. It was just a kiss. One kiss. No big deal, right?
Joey: Right. No big deal. In bizarro world. You broke the code.
Ross: What code?
Joey: You don't kiss your friend's mom. Sisters are okay. Maybe a hot-Iooking aunt. But not a mom. Never a mom!
Quote from Joey
Monica: What are you guys doing here?
Joey: Uh, he's not even wearing a jock strap.
Monica: What did I ask?
Quote from Joey
Chandler: What the hell were you thinking?
Ross: I wasn't. I don't know.
Chandler: Of all my friends, no one knows the crap I go through with my mom more than you.
Ross: I know.
Chandler: I can't believe you did this.
Ross: Chandler.
Joey: Me neither.
Chandler: I'm still mad at you for not telling me.
Joey: Why are you mad at me?
Chandler: Let me slam the door.
Joey: Chandler, I didn't kiss her. He did. [to Ross] See what happens when you break the code?
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: I know. I hate that they are calling him John Doe. How sad! It's like he's a deer, a female deer… [Monica stops Phoebe from singing] Oh. I was going to stop.
Quote from Phoebe
Monica: Look at that face. I mean, even sleeping he Iooks smart. I bet he's a lawyer.
Phoebe: Yeah, but see the dents in his knuckles, that means he's artistic.
Monica: Okay. He's a Iawyer who teaches sculpting on the side. And he can dance.
Phoebe: And he's the kind of guy who, when you're talking, he's Iistening, you know, and not not saying, " I understand " but really wondering what you Iook Iike naked.
Monica: I wish all guys could be Iike him.
Phoebe: I know.
Quote from Joey
Joey: [sees Ross and Nora Bing kissing by the bathrooms] I'II just pee in the street.
Quote from Phoebe
Monica: This is so typical. You know, we give and we give and we give. And then we just get nothing back. And then one day, you wake up, and it's, "See you around." Let's go, Phoebe.
Phoebe: You know what? We thought you were different. But I guess it was just the coma.
Quote from Joey
Joey: I can't believe you said "whoo-hoo." I don't even say "whoo-hoo."
Quote from Ross
Ross: When did "Rigaton " get back from Rome?
Monica: Last night.
Ross: Really? So, then his plane didn't explode in a big ball of fire? Just a dream I had. But, phew!