Judy Geller: So who's the mystery man?
Monica: Well, he's a doctor.
Judy Geller: A real doctor?
Monica: No, a doctor of meat.

Ross: I don't think Mom and Dad would mind. Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30, Dad said "God, I hope they get together."

Joey: What are you getting all bent out of shape for? It's not like we agreed to live together forever. We're not Bert and Ernie.

Chandler: You guys are getting tattoos?
Rachel: Yes, but you cannot tell Ross because I wanna surprise him.
Joey: Wow, this is wild. What are you gonna get?
Phoebe: I'm getting a lily. For my mom, because her name's Lily.
Chandler: Wow, that's lucky. What if her name was Big Ugly Splotch?

Joey: Where you getting it?
Phoebe: I think on my shoulder.
Ross: What? What's on your shoulder?
Phoebe: Um, a chip. A tattoo. I'm getting a tattoo.
Ross: A tattoo? Why? Why would you wanna do that?
Rachel: Uh, hey, you don't think they're kind of cool?
Ross: No. Sorry, I don't. I mean, why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? I mean, what if it doesn't come out right? It's like, I don't know, having a bad haircut all the time. Why is everyone staring at me?

Monica: Ross, let's switch places. You get in the middle. Unless this looks like we're trying to cover something up.
Ross: Monica, you could come in straddling him, they still wouldn't believe it.

Jack Geller: Come on, tell us.
Bob: ls she really 20?
Richard: I am not telling you guys anything.
Jack Geller: Come on, Rich, it's my birthday. Let me live vicariously.

Phoebe: Hey, is your boyfriend the boss of you?
Rachel: No.
Phoebe: Okay, who is the boss of you?
Rachel: You?
Phoebe: No, you are the boss of you. Now you march your heiney in there and get that tattoo on your hip. Go!

Judy Geller: Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city?
Jack Geller: I know. He's a new man. It's like a scene from Cocoon.

Joey: Can we drop this? I am not interested in the guy's apartment.
Chandler: Oh, please. I saw the way you were checking out his moldings.