Chandler: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't need a roommate either. I can afford to live here by myself. You know, I may have to bring in somebody once a week to lick the silverware.

Jack Geller: Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday?
Monica: Dad, this is a good thing. You said you've never seen Richard happier.
Jack Geller: When did I say that?
Monica: Upstairs in the bathroom, right before you felt up Mom.

Phoebe: Oh, I love it.
Rachel: I know, so do l. I'm so glad you made me do this. Okay, let me see yours.
Phoebe: Okay, let's see yours again.
Rachel: Phoebe, we just saw mine. Let me see yours.
Phoebe: Oh, no. It's gone. That's so weird. I don't know how, where it went.

Chandler: So I got you something. Plastic spoons.
Joey: Great.
Chandler: Lick away, my man.
Joey: These will go great in my new place, you know till I get real ones.
Chandler: What?
Joey: Well, I can't use these forever. I mean, let's face it, they're no friend of the environment.

Joey: Hey, are you cool with this? I mean, I don't wanna leave you high and dry.
Chandler: Hey, I've never been lower or wetter.

Chandler: I'll be fine. I'll just turn your bedroom into a game room. Put the foosball table in there or something.
Joey: Whoa, why do you get to keep the table?
Chandler: I did pay for half of it.
Joey: Yeah, and I paid for the other half.

Chandler: I'll tell you what. I'll play you for it.
Joey: All right, you're on. I can take two minutes out of my day to kick your ass.
Chandler: Your little men are going to get scored on more times than your sister.
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Which sister?

Monica: So are you sorry that I told them?
Richard: No. It's been a long time since your dad and I went running.

Joey: Hey, you guys are still gonna come visit me, right?
Ross: Oh, yeah. You got the big TV. We'll be over there all the time. [sees Chandler] Except when we are here.

Chandler: So, you want me to give you a hand with the foosball table?
Joey: Nah, you keep it. You need the practice.