Phoebe: Anyway, don't freak out and say how great this is until I'm done. I just met this producer of this teeny record company who said that I have a very fresh, offbeat sound and she wants to do a demo of "Smelly Cat".
Rachel: Oh my God, Phoebe-
Phoebe: Okay, I told you not to do that yet. And she wants to do a video.
[The group gasps and cheers]
Phoebe: I'm not done yet, okay? God. If that goes well, they may even want to make an album.
[silence]
Phoebe: I'm done now.

Ross: Tony, can I call you back? That's my sister's boyfriend.
Monica: Give me that. [on the phone] Sweetie, before I forget, did l leave my diaphragm at your place? Hi, Mom. [Monica starts throwing oranges at Ross]

Phoebe: Oh, my God.
Ross: I know.
Phoebe: I sound amazing. I've never heard myself sing before. I mean, except in my own head.
Oh, this is so cool. Now I can hear what you hear.
Rachel: Pretty different, huh?
Phoebe: I am sorry, but I'm incredibly talented!

Monica: I just can't stand you being here all the time.
Ross: Why? Why can't you stand me being here? We're just having fun.
Monica: Fun? You think this is fun?
Ross: I thought we were fooling around, like when we were kids.
Monica: I hated you when we were kids.
Ross: You hated me when we were kids?
Monica: Yes, I hated you. I loved you in a you're-my-brother-so-l-have-to way but basically, I hated your guts.
Ross: Why did you hate me?
Monica: Because you were mean to me and you teased me and you always got your way.
Ross: And that wasn't fun for you?
Monica: Nuh-huh.
Ross: I can't believe you hated me.
Monica: But now I love you. And not just because I have to.
Ross: Really?
Monica: You're just gonna have to stop pissing me off.
Ross: I can do that.
Monica: Then I won't have to kill you.

Phoebe: Hey, excellent water, table thing.
Joey: Thanks. I love this. But you know what? It makes me want to pee.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, me too. I think that's the challenge.

[Rachel trips while carrying a plate of apple pie, it lands in a customer's hood]
Rachel: [to Monica] Okay, here we go. Sorry, they were all out of apple pie. Someone just got the last piece.

Monica: Wow, Joey, this is-
Joey: Art.
Monica: Art it is.

Ross: Whoa, check this out. Is it a coffee table? Is it a panther? There's no need to decide.

Chandler: So what do you say, boys? Should I call him? Well, you know what they say: Ask your slippers a question, you're going crazy.

Ross: You'll just have to accept the fact that you're just friends now. You're not roommates anymore.