Rachel: Okay, Ross, if you care about me at all, you have got to get the pie out of the man's hood.
Ross: Get the what?
Rachel: There's a pie in the hood. Pie in the hood. Go.
Guy: What are you doing?
Ross: I'm sorry. My pie was in your hood. Now I just have to get the coffee out of that guy's pants and I'll be back in the hospital by 7. [swats away a non-existent fly]

Joey: Was that the oven timer?
Chandler: That's right, my friend. It's time for-
Joey: Baywatch. Can you believe they gave Stephanie skin cancer?
Chandler: I still can't believe they promoted her to lieutenant.
Joey: You're just saying that because you love Yasmine Bleeth.
Chandler: How could anyone not love Yasmine Bleeth?
Joey: Hey, they're running.
Chandler: See, this is the brilliance of the show. I say always keep them running. All the time running. Run. Run. Run, Yasmine. Run like the wind.

Ross: [on the phone] No, there is no way he was a velociraptor. Look at the cranial ridge, okay? If Dino was a velociraptor, he would have eaten the Flintstones.

Ross: Call Joanna.
Monica: Did she leave a number?
Ross: Did you see me write one down?
Monica: I don't have her number, butt-munch.

Joey: So, this is new. Where'd you two meet?
Eddie: At the supermarket in the ethnic food section. I helped him pick out a chorizo.
Joey: Wow.
Chandler: We got to talking. He needed a place, and I had a spare room.
Joey: Oh. Now it's a spare room?
Chandler: Well, yeah. In that it's not being used and I have it to spare.

Phoebe: Check it out. Check it out. It's "Smelly Cat," the video. Now, okay, I haven't seen it yet, so if you don't like it- Well, so what? None of you ever made a video.

Joey: All right, that's it. He just comes in here, Mr. Johnny New Eggs with his moving the mail and his "See you, pals." And now there's no juice. There's no juice for the people who need the juice. I need the juice.
Chandler: There's another carton there.
Joey: This isn't about juice anymore, all right, man?

Chandler: All right. So what's it about?
Joey: Eggs. Whose eggs do you like better, his or mine?
Chandler: Well, I like both eggs equally.
Joey: Oh, come on. Nobody likes two different kinds of eggs equally. You like one better than the other and I wanna know which one you like better.
Chandler: Oh, what's the difference? Your eggs aren't here anymore. You took your eggs and you left. Did you really expect me to never find new eggs?

Monica: Oh, my God, Ross, it's- You're just- Since you've been here, you're driving me-
Ross: Mon, you've gone ultrasonic again, all right?

Chandler: Doesn't matter. Time for Baywatch.
Eddie: You like that show?
Chandler: You don't like that show?
Eddie: No, I mean, it's just a bunch of pretty people running around on the beach.
Chandler: Well, that's the brilliance of it. The pretty people. And the running.