‘The One After Ross Says Rachel’
Season 5, Episode 1 - Aired September 24, 1998
After Ross mistakenly said Rachel's name at his wedding, he tries to patch things up with Emily. Meanwhile, Chandler and Monica are desperate to hook up again while they're still on foreign soil, and Rachel wonders whether she should talk to Ross about him saying her name at the altar.
Quote from Jack Geller
Jack Geller: Boy, a bad time to say the wrong name, huh, Ross?
Ross: That's true. Thanks, Dad.
Quote from Ross
Joey: Hey, Ross, the band's ready outside for your first dance with Emily.
Ross: Oh! Oh. The band's ready. Well, we've got to do what the band says, right? I don't care about the stupid band!
Joey: You spit on me, man.
Quote from Judy Geller
Judy Geller: This is worse than when he married the lesbian.
Quote from Phoebe
Andrea Waltham: Yes, Waltham lnteriors.
Phoebe: This is Ross Geller's personal physician, Dr. Phalange.
Andrea Waltham: Who?
Phoebe: Yeah, I discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine. Now, without it, in the brain of Ross women's names are interchangeable. Through no fault of his own.
Andrea Waltham: Oh, my God. Phoebe.
Phoebe: No, not Phoebe. Dr. Phalange. Oh, no. You have it too!
Quote from Rachel
Phoebe: So, what happened?
Rachel: Well, Ross said my name.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know. But I don't think that means anything.
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, let's look at this objectively. Ninth grade, right? The obsession starts. All right, summer after ninth grade, he sees me in a two-piece for the first time. His obsession begins to grow, right?
Quote from Chandler
Monica: You didn't find her?
Ross: No, I've looked everywhere.
Chandler: Well, you couldn't have looked everywhere, or you would've found her.
Monica: Yeah, I think you should keep looking.
Chandler: Yeah, for about 30 minutes?
Monica: Or 45?
Chandler: Wow. In 45 minutes, you could find her twice.
Quote from Ross
Emily: Yes. Do go on.
The Registrar: I think we'd better start again. Repeat after me. l, Ross-
Ross: I, Ross-
The Registrar: Take thee, Emily-
Ross: Take thee, Emily. Ha, ha. Like there'd be anybody else.
The Registrar: As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health till death parts us.
Ross: As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health until death parts us. Really, I do. Emily.
The Registrar: Do you have the rings? Emily, place this ring on Ross' finger as a symbol of your bond everlasting.
Ross: Ah.
The Registrar: Ross, place this ring on Emily's hand as a symbol of the love that encircles you forever.
Ross: Happy to.
The Registrar: Ross and Emily have made their declarations and it gives me great pleasure to declare them husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.
Quote from Chandler
Joey: Well, that went well, yeah.
Chandler: It could've been worse. He could've shot her.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: I hope you don't take this the wrong way but I know we had plans to meet up tonight.
I'm worried about what it might do to our friendship.
Monica: I know. How could we have let this happen?
Chandler: Seven times.
Quote from Monica
Monica: You know, look. We were away.
Chandler: In a foreign, romantic country.
Monica: I blame London.
Chandler: Bad London!
Monica: So look while we're still in London, we can keep doing it, right?
Chandler: Well, I don't see that we have a choice. But when we're back home, we don't do it.
Monica: Only here.
Chandler: You know, I saw a wine cellar downstairs.
Monica: I'll meet you there in two minutes.