Bulldog: So, we're together, right?
Gil: Absolutely.
Bulldog: We're not letting her push us around any longer!
Gil: Nope. You do the talking. I'll stand behind you and burn holes through her with my "You call this a hollandaise sauce?!" glare.

Roz: Oh, here's one: "Best Restaurant Critic: Gil Chesterton."
Gil: Oh, thank God I'm nominated. Now I won't have to attend "The Chestertons."
Roz: "The Chestertons?"
Gil: It's an elaborate awards show my wife and the dogs put on when I'm overlooked by the SeaBeas.

[As Roz screams in agony from her ankle, Gil removes her shoe]
Gil: Oh, dear.
Roz: What is it?
Gil: I see it's been a while since our last pedicure.

Roz: Gil, why is Orsini's closing?
Gil: Well, the owner's getting old, he wants to sell. And just between us, I'm afraid Orsini's a bit like wine that's
stayed too long in the cellar. It retains only memories of its former glory.
Frasier: Not comping your check anymore?
Gil: Not for months now.

Gil: Oh! What a stunning apartment!
Frasier: Well...
Gil: The palette is pure, subtle elegance. The detailing... well,it's inspired! [examines a statuette] And the furnishings... [sees Martin's chair] Oh, dear. Is that a chair?
Frasier: That is my father's chair.
Gil: Oh. Well, this must be your father!

Gil: A word of caution on the hummus. To be avoided, as a leper would avoid a magic tea-cup ride.
Roz: Gil, Frasier made that.
Gil: Oh, I'm so sorry.
Frasier: Quite all right. I understand you need to flex your critical muscles while you're between jobs.
Gil: Oh, good, then you might enjoy this one: "After sampling your unnuanced baba ganoush, I was tempted to describe your entire Middle Eastern buffet as 'The Sorrow and the Pita.'" Oh, who's got a pencil, I've got to write that one down.

Gil: How could you do this to us?
Frasier: I had no idea she intended to stay.
Kenny: That's not what her mother told me.
Gil: And I thought I'd seen some cruel pranks in the army.

Gil: Normally at this time, I'd be doing my segment on food for the calorie-conscious, "All Things Light and Edible." But apparently health is going to take a backseat to the random musings of a radio psychiatrist on wine. So without further ado, I give you "The Wine Corner," with your host, Dr. Frasier Crane.
[Gil takes off his headphones and stomps away]
Frasier: Thank you, Gil, for that gracious introduction.

Gil: But then, a composer friend of mine came up with this little ditty for me: [singing:]
Whether choosing a wine
Or the best place to dine
It's all a matter of taste [Yes, sir!]
It's all a matter of taste!
Kenny: Great, huh?
Gil: And the nicest thing is, he didn't take a penny for it.
Frasier: Well, at least he has a conscience.

Gil: And finally, no review of Le Petite Oiseau would be complete without a word about their décor. Hideous. I'll be back after these messages.