Frasier: Granted the man's handsome but it's no reason to feel threatened.
Gil: I must confess, I didn't notice he was all that handsome.
Roz: You didn't notice? [laughs] You of all people?
Gil: Just what are you insinuating?
Roz: Well, you know, you're a little... Uh...
Gil: For your information, I happen to be a happily married man.
Frasier: You're married?
Bulldog: To a woman?
Gil: Of course to a woman. You've all heard me mention Deb. Well, how often have I said, "I must be running along now, Deb will be waiting."
Roz: We thought Deb was your cat.
Gil: She is not a cat. She is Mrs. Gilbert Leslie Chesterton, a Sarah Lawrence graduate, and the owner of a very successful auto body repair shop. Honestly, the conclusions people make, just because a man dresses well and knows how to use a pastry bag.

[After Bulldog convinced him that the new station owner was Greek:]
Gil: Well, I hope you're happy. I've just given four stars to a restaurant called "A Taste Of Greece." Which, trust me, is no misnomer.

Gil: Careful, gents. Really, the way you two are always carrying on, people are going to start talking. [adopting a phony smile] Hello, all. Gil Chesterton here, with a toast to Roz Doyle.
Frasier: Hear, hear.
Gil: A wonderful co-worker, and a good friend.
All: Hear, hear.
Gil: Of course, I too noticed Roz's sex appeal immediately. She had the same effect on all of us stallions in the KACL corral. She made us want to paw the ground and rise up on our powerful haunches, fetlocks glistening. Smokey, Misty, Storm! Away!
Kenny: Okay, bar's closed.

Roz: Hey, Gil. So, where is that elusive wife of yours?
Gil: If you must know, Deb's on maneuvers with her reserve unit.

Gil: I'll take it. After all, Nigel does have that divine speech in the second act about his boyhood in Surrey. "Romping with his school chums in the fens and spinneys, when the twilight bathed the hedgerows like a lambent flame." Actually, I had rather a long peek at the script.

Gil: Frasier! I am so sorry. I thought that last call was appalling.
Frasier: Thank you, Gil.
Gil: You poor man! How long you must have dreaded this dark, yet inevitable day. I so wish you could have been allowed to come out in a time and manner of your own choosing, instead of being wrenched from your closet, your voice cracking, your cheeks crimson with shame.
Frasier: Gil, I am not gay.
Gil: Oh, Frasier, you can't play coy once you've been caught traipsing around Bad Billy's in shorts that left little to the imagination.
Frasier: They were not my shorts. I simply borrowed them because my own had split when I bent over-
Gil: Oh, please! We don't need to know everything. I just want to say that your KACL family will be here for you as you take your first brave steps on that yellow brick road to pride and self-acceptance and-
Frasier: Oh, shut up, you big queen! [exits]
Gil: I see kitty has claws.

Gil: Um, I'd like to say something.
Van: Okay, go ahead, Gil.
Gil: From the bottom of my heart, I apologize for my wandering eye over the years. Those whom I mentally undressed - and you know who you are - all I can say, and it's a poor defense, is that I was a product of the thoughtless machismo of my times.
Van: Thank you, Gil.
Gil: But know this, Gil isn't about to stop loving the ladies.
Van: Thank you, Gil. I think they like to be called "women" now.
Gil: Huh. Do they ever!

Frasier: Gil. How'd it go with the Hammer?
Gil: You've never seen such cold, dead eyes. It was like bargaining with Nosferatu. My salary's been slashed.

Bulldog: "I wept as our bodies made the music of love."
Gil: "I'm your rhapsody, play me!"
Bulldog: "Crescendo, my young maestro, crescendo!"
Gil: My vessel yearns to dock in the magnificence of your harbor.
Bulldog: [laughs, then:] Hey, that's not in the book!

Gil: Have you heard anything, Frasier?
Frasier: About what?
Noel: The new station manager. They're announcing today.
Gil: My stomach is in knots. I just know they're going to replace sweet, kind-hearted Kenny with some ruthless, Draconian-
Noel: -hard ass.
Gil: That would hardly make up for it.