Sam: Okay, 46 to 55. That's the half. Let's see. Uh-oh. Clear the dance floor. Woody won again.
Woody: Thanks.
Norm: "Thanks"? "Thanks"? That's all you're gonna say, "Thanks"?
Woody: Well, sure.
Sam: No, wait a minute, wait a minute. Listen, the only thing that people hate worse than a guy who gloats is a guy who stands there smug when they know that he's gloating on the inside.
Cliff: If you're gonna dance, for God's sake, dance.
Woody: I don't want to dance, you guys. I didn't mean to hurt anybody. I just want to sit here quietly and count my bucks. Let's see, that would be five, ten, fifteen...

Man: I got some flowers here for, uh, Carla LeBec.
Carla: Oh, yes! Let the present parade begin! Ah, I wonder what Eddie's plan is. Flowers every hour, or maybe the presents are just gonna get bigger and bigger as the night goes on. I'll tell you, I wouldn't be surprised if I left here tonight with an electric fondue set. Yes! "Happy second anniversary, your loving husband, Edward LeBec."
Norm: Aw.
Woody: Aw, what a guy.
Sam: Yeah, boy, that's really sweet, Carla.
Norm: Yeah. Nice flowers, too.
[Carla takes the flowers out of the vase, throws them in the trash and spits on them]
Woody: I hear that keeps 'em fresh longer.

Sam: Hey, whoa, where you going? What is that about?
Carla: Those flowers weren't from Eddie.
Sam: What are you talking about?
Carla: His real name isn't Edward, it's Guy ["Gee"].
Cliff: Hah?
Sam: What?
Carla: G-U-Y. Guy ["Gee"]. People just call him Eddie because it's too weenie to say Guy ["Gee"]. All right, which one of you dirt bags sent those gorgeous flowers?
Sam: Hey, come on, we didn't send those. You know I'll betcha Eddie spent about 50 bucks for those flowers.
Cliff: $50? You told me it was gonna be $35.
Carla: Oh! God! I- I don't believe that you guys don't think Eddie's gonna come through. I mean I'll tell you, I got faith in Eddie. He's the best husband in the whole world, and he is gonna come through. You'll see.

Carla: [on the phone] Yeah. Two dozen, long-stemmed. And make the card out, "To Carla, with all my love, Guy. ['Gee']" Yeah, Guy ['Gee']. As in "geek."

Man: Carla LeBec?
Carla: Ah, flowers. Aren't you a little old for a delivery boy?
Man: It's my father's night off.

Carla: Does anybody know who these are from and who they're for?
Norm: Cliff's mom for me?
Carla: No, they're from Eddie LeBec for me for our anniversary. Now, are you guys satisfied or would you like to sit on these?
Sam: Boy, that's love for you, isn't it?
Norm: Yeah, really. I got a tear in my eye.
Cliff: And you're going to have this in your eye if you don't lay off my mom.

Woody: Carla, that was your florist. They didn't accept your credit card for the flowers. You got to bring them cash.
Carla: Okay, Eddie didn't send the flowers. I sent them to myself. I just figured that when he did do his wonderful surprise, it might be later, and you guys might miss it. So, just get off my case. It's gonna happen, okay? [exits]
Norm: There is one bright side to all this.
Sam: Yeah, what's that?
Norm: You're gonna have the sweetest smelling garbage on the block.

Sam: Why didn't he come in?
Carla: No brakes in the car.
Woody: How does he stop?
Carla: Well, he either swerves into hedges or he coasts around the block until he can stop the car with his foot.

Carla: Hey, everybody, listen up. I want you all to repeat after me. I am a very stupid person.
All: "I am a very stupid person."
Carla: And I will never doubt the undying love and total commitment that exists, always has existed, and always will exist between Carla and Eddie LeBec.
All: "I'm a very stupid person."
Carla: Close enough! Well, turns out the only reason he didn't surprise me was he had to rehearse. That ought to show you mo-mos a lesson.