Stan Sitwell: I'd like to see that paperwork.
Maeby: Yes. Well, I recently moved here from New Orleans, and I...
Narrator: Narrator: Maeby was proud of this lie.
Maeby: ...lost all my personal paperwork in Hurricane Cantina.
Stan Sitwell: Ooh. That's complicated.
Maeby: Yes. It is. Unless I'm expected to lose a home for the second time. Of course, I could just pack up my shorty shorts, my silky pajamas, my peekaboo bras, my ticklers, sex knobs, and lacy hoo-has and hit the road.
Stan Sitwell: I can't ask you to do that.

Lucille: So, unless some angel descends on a golden chariot, we're completely over-leveraged.
Tobias: And maybe you don't want to get hurt because, as I say, hurt people... hurt people.
Lucille: Oh, that's nice. I always say, "Make people cry, make people cry." But yours includes the people who don't want to give you the satisfaction.

Maeby: I just feel like I gotta move on with my life, you know? Find some meaning. Get going with my own goop.
George Michael: Goop? What is goop?
Maeby: If you have to ask, you probably don't know what it is.
George Michael: I don't know what it is. I feel like maybe you don't know what it is.
Maeby: Maybe it's "go-op"?
George Michael: To me, that would make less sense.
Maeby: Maybe that's what "go-op" is. Not everything always making sense.
Narrator: It isn't.

Narrator: Michael headed home to tell Buster his plan for making the family come back.
Michael: I've sent away the fumigator, and all you got to do, so we can declare you missing, is stay out of sight for about 72 hours.
Buster: Milford style.
Michael: Hmm?
Buster: I'm a Milford man, Michael.
Michael: Yeah?
Buster: Winner of 1982's Least Seen on Campus. Oh, I wish I could've seen their faces at the ceremony.

Gob: Blah, blah, blah. Look at this.
Michael: What's that mean? You're not gonna sign it?
Gob: No. I was just thinking that I should have my attorney Bob Loblaw look at this.

Gob: I've met someone. Can't really give you any information. Kind of famous-y.
Michael: I also met someone. Also famous-y.
Gob: Have you?
Michael: Can't give you any information.
Gob: Is it Julie Bowen?
Michael: No, it's not. Is yours Julie Bowen?
Gob: Is yours Julie- Oh, my God, Michael, you're seeing Julie Bowen?
Michael: I am not seeing Julie Bowen, but if you are, you tell me right now.
Gob: I want to hear you say the words, "I'm not seeing Julie Bowen."
Michael: I have not seen Julie Bowen.
Gob: Well, that's a funny way to phrase it.

Lucille: If I were you, I'd put a tail on him. Get a P.I.
Michael: Where the hell am I gonna find a P.I.?
Gene Parmesan: Gene Parmesan, at your service.
[The bearded, middled-aged White man wearing a baseball cab and standing between Lucille and Michael removes "GARY" from his name tag to reveal "GENE"]
Lucille: [screams] It's Gene! He does this to me every time!
Michael: What's he doing here, Mom?
Lucille: Oh, he's working for me.
Michael: Why'd you scream then?
Lucille: I thought he was that guy. [points to a Black man]

Narrator: But unfortunately, their 30 year passive-aggressive dance was losing some of its passive.
Lucille: As if everybody in this room couldn't tell how jealous and conniving you are, my dear Lucille Austero.
Lucille Austero: What I knew was that you were stealing for years. We all did! That's why nobody was surprised when you stole that boat.
Lucille: And I knew you couldn't wait to get your liver-spotted claws into my company!
Lucille Austero: Says the woman whose liver can be spotted from outer space!
Lucille: No further questions!
Lucille Austero: No further answers! Am I done?

Narrator: And so it was Lucille who did the questioning of her new star witness, Lucille 2
Lucille: Thank you so much for coming to be my witness. You're such a large shareholder... Oh. I've made a pun.
Lucille Austero: Oh, how could I not do it for my oldest friend? Oh! Now I've gone and done a double.
Lucille: [laughs] A double. Like your pre-surgery chin.
Lucille Austero: Or your post- breakfast drink. Oh, I wish you'd come to my rehab clinic. But anything to help that Keystone Cop family of yours.
Lucille: Keystone Cops? Your references are as fresh as the wallpaper in the room of that pretend child you've had all these years. But, my friend...
Lucille Austero: You're right, I shouldn't joke. None of your family showed up, you poor thing. This is such a black mark on all of you.
Lucille: You should know about black marks. Your pillow must look like a Rorschach Test. Not that there'd be anyone to see it. So, as I was saying...

Narrator: Gob was waiting to meet his son at a bar and feeling a little vulnerable.
Gob: Lost my wife, lost my career. When I was in that storage unit at the bottom of that rock, it was like I hit...
Steve Holt: Rock bottom?
Gob: No, no, not that. More like a trending downward moment that just I don't know. Maybe I'm being tested like that guy "Jawb" from the Bible.
Bartender: Job.
Gob: Yes?
Bartender: Job.
Gob: Yes, sir.
Bartender: Job.
Gob: Yeah.