Janine: Uh-oh! Even Principal Coleman is stumped. All right, let's get those guesses in, you guys.
Ava: Nah, I got this. "R"!
Janine: Nope. [students groaning]
[aside to camera:]
Janine: So I picked a word, but then a student sneezed on another student. By the time we cleaned that up, I'd forgotten the word. So I'm just stalling. But we've only got about 10 minutes till lunch, so we should be fine.

Janine: What else?
Girl: This is impossible!
Janine: No, nothing is impossible. Now, come on. Keep guessing. [door opens]
Ava: All the vowels are in the dump. What word has two X's and no vowels? Did Grimes have another kid?

Barbara: What in the Earth, Wind and Fire is going on here?

Barbara: Gregory, why would you sow secretly? Why would you prune privately? Why would you cull clandestinely? Hidden hoe-ing and whatnot?
Gregory: Are you done?
Jacob: Barbara, hit him one more time.
Barbara: Why would you be tight-lipped about tilling?

Barbara: You know, if it wasn't for one of Melissa's speeches, I never would have watched The King's Speech.
Melissa: Mm-hmm.
Barbara: But I tell you what. That Colin Powell sure can act. Mm!

Jacob: Anyways, here is something to go off of for Episode 1. But, you know, make it your own. Wherever the story takes you, go there.
Ava: Y'all be careful. That equipment ain't cheap. You think just anybody can start a podcast? Please!
[aside to camera:]
Ava: Oh, you haven't heard of the Coleman Podcast Network? It's a couple of Housewife recaps, Banana Mouth, my screenwriting-advice podcast, Catch These Fade Ins, not to mention my ASMR endeavors. [whispering] But Spotify made me take those down. [ASMR eating noises]

Jacob: Janine! Did you see the big news?
Janine: Oh, my God. Did the multi-color pushpins come in?
Jacob: No. Well, I mean, yes, that is huge. But, uh, I got two sign-ups for after-school podcast club.
Janine: Oh! Two. Two? Wow! That... That's enough to tango.
Jacob: I cannot wait to get started. I'm picturing This American Life meets Pod Save America with the research of The Daily, the storytelling of The Moth, all while, like, redefining the form, à la Radiolab.
Janine: How many white podcasts do you listen to?
Jacob: Hundreds. I listen at triple speed, though, you know, to fit them all in. Actually, this conversation kind of feels like it's in slow motion. But I am so informed.

Ava: Y'all not gonna believe this, but I was watching Gourders, that show about pumpkin hoarders, and a commercial about Abbott came on. It's bad. I had to watch two more episodes before it played again.

Melissa: Was there a bit about me gambling? 'Cause a parent said something that almost triggered my fight-or-fight response.
Gregory: Mm, you mean fight or flight.
Melissa: No. I'm not a flippin' bird, Gregory.

Janine: Look, I got this bag of candy from Joel and Carolina's mom. She wanted me to give it to you. Maybe she wants you to get a cavity or something.
Gregory: Oh. That's nice of her, but no thanks. I truly hate candy unless it's 96% cacao.