Janine: Mondays are my absolute favorite day because that's when I get to come back here and see all you guys again.
Barbara: Fail! Fail. That's a fail.
Gregory: The worst day of the week.

Janine: Are you guys ready for the step show? We are going to blow your minds with the performance Ava came up with.
Barbara: Ava?
Melissa: Yeah, I thought you were in charge.
Janine: Well, I'm trying to move away from hierarchical leadership, but Ava is a great leader.
Jacob: [chuckles] Who'd have thought?
Janine: I know, right? I mean, she did try to get the kids into Akon's cryptocurrency, but she's been there every day, so...

Janine: [aside to camera] I'm not sure when Nina's mom is coming, uh, but I'm starting to get a little anxious. This has to go well. So, just in case, I'm gonna go see Barbara to rehearse what I have to say. Barbara is my mentor. And you know what? She's kind of like my mom. She's my momtor.

Janine: Why is your posture not perfect? You okay? Something happen to your core?
Gregory: My core's fine.
Janine: Oh.
Gregory: I'm just... processing some things.

Janine: Can I see the presentation?
Ava: You don't have a lawyer, do you?
Janine: No. Oh, not unless you count that guy that represented me in that hit and run. [to camera] I was clipped by a delirious jogger.

Gregory: Hey. Thought I was early.
Janine: You are. I'm just earlier.
Gregory: Ava here yet?
Janine: She's probably somewhere doing power poses. Actually, it's been a minute. Let me check and make sure she hasn't bolted.

Janine: [aside to camera] Did you see me up there? I am so happy that Kenny is fine and that we're gonna get him to the second grade, but, like, I don't know. What a rush! [laughs] I can make changes. And... change is good. Everyone's making changes. I am always out of breath. It's like... What is that? Because I feel like I should get that checked out.

Janine: [aside to camera] Abbott Elementary is a special place. I knew it when I got here. Just now, I feel like I'm part of it. I'm one of these great teachers. This is what I'm meant to do. It's gonna be great. And I'm gonna be fine. We all are.

Janine: [to camera] Aah! Oh, I'm so sorry. I am just so happy to be back. [chuckles] Um, I did this. Parted my hair on a different side. But, oh, yeah, you asked how my summer was. Um... Well, I broke up with Tariq, as you know, which was... You know, break-ups are hard for anyone. I took it as an opportunity to grow... Not physically, of course, because I can't reach the top shelves in my apartment. Tariq used to get the plates. But, ultimately, I was just so excited to start the new year. Breaking up with Tariq was so much the right choice that, you know, I was basically able to fast-track that break-up. No crying, no depression, "wah-wah." And no more bringing my problems into school. That was old right-sided-part Janine. I'm a fully formed adult, and this year is gonna be... different.

Jacob: [computer chimes] Is everything okay? RE: your rent?
Janine: [chuckles] Is that, uh, one of the questions? Seems kind of specific.
Jacob: No, no. This e-mail.
Janine: Um... Yeah, no, everything is fine. Like, everything's completely okay.It's just that Tariq and I used to split the rent 80/20, and now that 20's in Bushwick. But it's totally okay. Ignore that. Um, yeah, just find the liberal love thingy. Just don't worry about it.