Don: Let me lay out the cold, hard facts for you, Tommy. If you're involved in something criminal, there's a 1 in 5 chance you'll be caught. If you're prosecuted, there's a 2% chance you'll be convicted. So don't play with fire.
Tommy: Look, you played by the rules, Don, and what do you got to show for it? Nothin'. Nothin'. Well, that's not going to be me. You understand?
Don: But Tommy-
Tommy: Don't call me Tommy. From now on, I'm the nephew.
Don: Damn!

Waitress: Would you like any dessert?
Sally: Dessert? Look at me. I'm crying. I'm a wreck. I'm upset. I'll have the gelato.

Harry: I'm also afraid of plastic garbage bags and Velcro.
Vicki Dubcek: Come here, baby.

Dick: And so they served us these balls made entirely of meat. Have you seen these?
Nina: Uh, yeah.
Dick: They're shaped like, say, a tennis ball. Have you seen these?
Nina: Of course I have.
Dick: But you don't play with them, you eat them. You've seen these?
Nina: Many times!
Dick: Well, it sure sounds like you haven't.

Dick: Oh, Mary, the food at Sul panno's was wonderful. You should have come.
Mary: I would have loved to.
Dick: Well, I asked, but you said you didn't want to intrude.
Mary: But then you're supposed to say, "Don't be silly. You wouldn't be intruding."
Dick: But then- then you'd be there, feeling like an intruder.
Mary: Not if you told me I wasn't.
Dick: Well, you weren't.
Mary: Well, you didn't.
Dick: Well, you wouldn't.
Mary: Well, I couldn't.
Dick: Well... I'm sorry, I'm lost.

Mary: Dick. We- We have trouble communicating.
Dick: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Mary: We don't communicate. I've been considering this for awhile, and I think it's a good idea that we get away and reconnect.
Dick: "The Institute at Mason Farm"? A couples' retreat? What is this?
Mary: Well, if we want this relationship to work, it's important that you - and by you, I mean "we" - learn to listen to me. Us.
Dick: Mary, have you seen those balls made entirely of meat?

Tommy: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Sammy "the butcher" Marchetti?
Sally: That's a cute name.
Tommy: Sally, don't- Don't you see? That's- That's a mob nickname. Like, from the movies.
Sally: What?
Tommy: This guy, he's like a goodfella. A wiseguy. He's a hit man.
Sally: Oh, my God.
Tommy: I know.
Sally: That is so cool!
Tommy: Isn't it? [they high-five]

Vicki Dubcek: Oh, does everybody feel what I feel? This place is just a whirling vortex of- of spirituality and truth. Dr. Albright can you see my aura?
Mary: No, but your bra strap is showing.
Harry: Come on, Vicki. Let's go get a personality manicure.

Dennis Caslow: Now, the first key to opening the door of communication with your partner is to tell that person what really scares us. But that's hard, isn't it?
All: Yeah.
Dennis Caslow: That's why we're here. To take the fear out of fear.
Dick: You know what I'd like? To take the fat out of peanut butter. It's- It's so fattening.
Mary: Dick, this isn't about peanut butter. It's about something bigger.

Dennis Caslow: Okay, Vicki, how about you?
Vicki Dubcek: Oh, me?
Dennis Caslow: Sure, yeah. Tell Harry what you're afraid of.
Vicki Dubcek: Oh. [laughs] Well, I don't really know how to- [shouts] I'm afraid you're going to stop loving me, Harry!
Harry: Okay, I'm afraid of spiders. Certain kinds of cheeses. [shouts] And that you're going to stop loving me, too! [they hug]