Bill: Shh. Be cool.
Adult Dean: "Be cool" was Daddy's catch-all advice for every situation.
[flashback to Bill throwing a match on the grill:]
Bill: Be cool.
[flashback to Dean gasping as he's electrocuted by a wall socket:]
Bill: Be cool.
[flashback to Bill in the driver's seat with his family as their car is stopped by the police:]
Bill: Be cool.

Bill: So, who gonna be there?
Kim: Mildred, Vesta... Kwame X.
Bill: Kwame X? What kind of stupid-ass militant name is that? His name is Albert. Albert. And you're not going.

Adult Dean: Growing up in the '60s, I was surrounded by images of the ideal middle-class, suburban life, and I wanted nothing more than to have my own big, fat slice of that American pie. Can you blame me? Those smiling White people made happiness and prosperity look so damn appealing. It only seemed fair... if other families got to have these cool, middle-class experiences, who said mine couldn't, too?
Dean: Hey, Dad. Can we go to the beach?
Bill: Sharks.
Adult Dean: My dad. That's who.
[montage:]
Dean: Hey, Dad, can we rent a cabin in the woods?
Bill: Bears.
Dean: Hey, Dad, can we get a dog?
Bill: Fleas.

Dean: Hey, Dad. Can I join my friend Brad's Dixie Scout troop?
Bill: The Dixie Scouts? So you want to join the White troop? Or as I call them, the junior Klan.
Dean: No, but, Dad, it's not like that. Brad's father is the Scoutmaster.
Bill: I'm sorry, did you say Scoutmaster? The man in charge is called "master"? Listen to yourself, son.
Dean: But, Dad, all my other friends are doing it.
Bill: Yeah, your White friends. I'm not letting you join in with those East Montgomery boys.

Lillian: Well, what's the harm in it, Bill?
Bill: Well, for starters, I don't like how the white Scouts stole all their rituals from African tribal rites of passage.
Adult Dean: My dad was of the opinion that if there was something of value in American culture, it was definitely stolen from Black people.
[flashback to Bill watching Ed Sullivan Show on TV :]
Bill: Elvis Presley? Ha! Everything he does, Big Mama Thornton did first... except better.
[flashback to Bill holding a drink:]
Bill: Coca-Cola? [scoffs] Please. They'd be nowhere if Africans hadn't domesticated the kola nut.
[flashback to Bill hanging decorations on a Christmas tree:]
Bill: [chuckles] Santa Claus? You know the real Saint Nicholas was a black Moor.
[present:]
Lillian: Are you sure about that, Bill? I thought the Scouts got their rituals from the Native Americans.
Bill: And where do you think they got it from?

Dean: You like fishing, huh?
Bill: I love it.
Dean: But you don't eat fish.
Bill: Hate it. Think about all those fish out there under the surface that we can't see. They have no idea what's going on here, above the water. They don't even care. Their life is simple. They don't have to wonder why bad things happen to good people or why there's so much hatred in the world or why, for some people, life may never be fair. Nope. They have no idea. Maybe that's why I like to fish.

Bill: Keep stacking that wood, son. How's that leak coming?
Hampton: Just need to put in the washer, Mr. Williams.
Bill: Excellent. You're one step closer to getting that Plumbing badge.
Norman: I finished trimming the bushes.
Bill: Good work, Norman. Now clear the weeds out of that flower bed and you'll have yourself a Gardening badge.

Lillian: Bill, why is there a young man painting our front door?
Bill: He's working hard to earn his Home Repairs merit badge.
Lillian: You sure he's not just checking items off your Chore Chart?
Kim: Ooh, is there a Laundry badge? 'Cause I don't feel like doing my chores, either.
Bill: Lillian, merit badges... "Encourage boys to try out new activities that may result in new skills."
Lillian: I'm sure that is not what these little boys signed up for.
Norman: Yeah, Dean said we'd go out camping and canoeing, not digging up other folks' weeds.
Bill: Whoa. [chuckling] Whoa, whoa. Looks like somebody doesn't want his Good Citizen badge.

Coach Long: Hey, Bill. Come to get Cory. How's it going?
Bill: Ah, you know. Just over here, men being men.
Coach Long: All right, now. [both laugh]
Cory: What's up, Dad? Hey, Mr. Williams, I'm almost done baking those cookies. Now, I remembered not to use walnuts, 'cause you said it makes your tummy hurt, right?
Bill: You know what, Cory? I'm just gonna go ahead and give you that Cooking badge. And First Aid, too. You could have just saved my life. Congratulations, son.
Cory: Thank you.

Adult Dean: This tent had all the bells and whistles... literally, it had a bell. Not sure why. Maybe to scare away bears. Anyway, it was amazing, and I couldn't wait to put it up. [metal clatters]
Dean: I think we put A-23 where C-27 should go, and where's B-26?
Bill: Be cool. It's just letters and numbers. We'll figure it out.
Coach Long: Y'all still working on that, huh? Now, don't you worry, Bill. If it rains, you can put that pretty box over your head. [chuckles]
Bill: Yeah, well... if you hear a bear in the middle of the night, don't come running to ring my bell. [no sound] It's at a frequency only bears can hear.
Coach Long: Yeah, bears don't work like that.