Adult Dean: When you're 12, it's hard to process the first time you realize your dad isn't good at everything. Or in the case of my son, when he was 8. [scoffs] Stupid John Madden Football. Like that proves anything.

Brad: Why isn't there a mall in your neighborhood?
Adult Dean: Oh, you just wait, Brad. One day that mall by your house will be the Black mall.
Dean: It's not fair. The mall's lousy with Catholic girls, and we can't get there.
Brad: Well, you guys should just move closer.
Adult Dean: Brad really needed to watch the news sometimes.

Adult Dean: But what if they were right? What if guys don't come back from Vietnam the same? The next morning, I decided I needed to pay extra-close attention to my brother. Never let him leave my sight, examine every word and action to make sure he's sane.
[As Dean reaches for the last rasher of bacon, Kim grabs it]
Kim: Ooh, I'll take that.
Bruce: Mm. I'll take that. [hands it to Dean]
Adult Dean: Bruce brought the balance of power back to the house. Nothing crazy about that.
[As Bill goes to reach for the last biscuit, Bruce grabs it for himself]
Bruce: I'll take that too.
Adult Dean: Nope, he was clearly bat[bleep] crazy.

Adult Dean: Yep, that's an electric saw. It was 1968. There were a bunch of kids walking around missing a couple of fingers.

Adult Dean: When you're 12 years old, anything that makes you unique makes you stand out, and that's the last thing you want to do in junior high.
Girl: [to Dean] Can I... touch it?
Adult Dean: Gary Coleman hadn't made the afro part a common sight yet.

Adult Dean: While being one of only three Black kids in my class was a more obvious difference, it wasn't so obvious to me how my friend Brad stood out.
Billy: Hey, Brad!
Adult Dean: Even though he looked White, people saw him differently, too.
Billy: There's a penny. [penny clinks] You gonna pick it up? [snickering]
Adult Dean: At 12, I didn't understand the complexity and hate behind the joke. I just knew they were targeting Brad because he was Jewish. And Brad was just doing what we were all doing... Trying to survive junior high.
[After Brad rolls his eyes and walks away with Cory, Dean bends down and picks up the penny]
Adult Dean: I know what you're looking at, but a penny's a penny!

Principal Cartwright: I'd like to introduce your new teacher. Please join me in welcoming Mr. Brady.
Adult Dean: He's Black?! I wanted to start singing the Negro National Anthem, but I didn't know the lyrics.
Girl: [to Dean] Do you know him?

Mr. Brady: I understand you've been reading The Odyssey, so let's open up to Chapter 9 and talk about how Homer uses foreshadowing to advance the story.
Adult Dean: I couldn't believe it. We finally had our first Black teacher in the history of the school. It was a huge deal, which wasn't lost on my classmates either.
[fantasy: Cory and Keisa stand and raise their gloved fists to the sky as "Say It Loud, I'm Black & I'm Proud" plays]
Adult Dean: Okay, it probably wasn't that bad, but that's exactly how it felt.

Lillian: There's a lot of us in here. I think your plan just might be working.
Kim: It is, and I got lots more ideas that'll help things run better around here.
Adult Dean: My mom and dad were used to this from Kim. They always said, "When Kim goes to heaven, she's gonna tell Peter how he can run things better." To which I always replied, "If Kim goes to heaven. If."

Dean: Sorry, Keisa, but Broderick already made plans to come to my house. If you still wanna see the U.S.S. Enterprise.
Broderick: Is that okay?
Keisa: I guess.
Adult Dean: That's right, Keisa. Your plans with your boyfriend just got Spock-blocked. [chuckles] Oh, please, come on, y'all know y'all liked that one.