Dwight K. Schrute: [on a golf course] Well, mister ball, it's been a pleasure. Now, give my regards to hell.

Dwight K. Schrute: [to Robert] You think you're excited? You should feel my nipples.

Nellie: Ah. In England, they put the holes a little bit to the right, you see. We'll just chalk it up to cultural bias.

Darryl: It's not a scratch-and-sniff, Kev.
Kevin: I know. But sometimes you still get a little something.
Toby: [to Darryl] Hey, you tricked me. You just wanted Kevin.
Darryl: You're new to the game. You learned a lesson today. See you next year, sport.
Toby: No, no, no. It's not fair. What if Kevin wants to buy cookies from me?
Kevin: I do.
Toby: See?
Darryl: That doesn't mean anything. [to Kevin] Kevin, do you want to buy cookies from me?
Kevin: Oh, I definitely do.
Darryl: [to Toby] Huh. Hit the road, jack.
Toby: No, you hit the road, jack.
Kevin: Hey guys, come on. Don't fight over me.
Toby: You know, why don't we split the order? It's only fair.
Kevin: No. Wait, no. I'm buying, I make the rules. I actually do want you to fight over me. I wanna be wined and dined and... 69ed.
Andy: Ugh.
Kevin: Metaphorically 69ed. Ew. Perverts! No offence, Oscar.

Jim: All right. So, I guess this is it.
Dwight K. Schrute: Well, Jim, I just want to say that we haven't always got along and at times, I've even hated your guts. But...[smiles] Bye-bye. I win.

Jim: Well, he's Florida's problem now.
Robert: Oh, let Dwight have his fun. Today will not be his day.
Jim: What's that?
Robert: I'm gonna tank the Sabre store at the presentation to the board.
Jim: I thought you liked the store?
Robert: Well, the store is lovely. You created a wonderful space to showcase our product line. Great job. Cheers.
Jim: Thank you.
Robert: But, there's a reason we sell our products online and over-the-phone. Have you ever used Sabre electronics, Jim? They're cheap. They're unintuitive. The Sabre store would work if we adopted the carnival model of leaving town once everyone's wise to us.
Jim: Wow. When you put it that way, I guess it does sound pretty terrible.
Robert: I couldn't just kill the project from the start. Jo Bennett endorsed it. Shame though, I did like Dwight.
Dwight K. Schrute: [from across the green] Robert, I'm gonna win! Ha ha, I'm the gentleman! Suck it!
Robert: [to Dwight] Bravo, Dwight! Very good! [Jim looks surprised] [to Jim] Shame.

Dwight K. Schrute: What are you doing here? I thought I got rid of you?
Jim: Can I just talk to you for one quick second?
Dwight K. Schrute: What, your stylist ran out of 'messy spray'? [others laugh]
Jim: Um, actually it's, it's for your own good. I think maybe we should- [gestures toward hallway]
Dwight K. Schrute: You want to do something for my own good? Turn around, walk out that door, do not stop 'til you get to Scranton, find my cell phone charger, mail it back to me, and then go hell.

Todd: Nice. Hey, Halpert, anyone ever tell you you look like Wooly Willy?
Dwight K. Schrute: [to Packer] Silence.
Todd: Aw, I'm just trying to-
Dwight K. Schrute: I know what you're trying to do, I don't want it. [to Jim] But your face does look like the guy from Operation.
Todd: That's- That's the same guy. It's the joke I made.
Dwight K. Schrute: Different guy.

Pam: [on the phone with Jim] He said, "I did like Dwight"? He's gonna fire him.
Jim: No, no, I think it was more like, "You know, I liked him, but I don't anymore because he did a bad job, so I'm definitely gonna yell at him".
Pam: Robert doesn't talk like that. You have to stop Dwight from doing this.
Jim: I tried. He will not listen.
Pam: Did you actually try your hardest?
Jim: Yes... my pretty hardest. Look, you haven't dealt with him in awhile, all right. He's like super Dwight. It's like he's been bitten by a radioactive Dwight, or som- Stanley, back me up.
Stanley: Don't talk to me.
Jim: Stanley's very upset that we're leaving Florida. But he would back me up.

Kelly: [to Kevin] Oh, you know what you have to do? To decide? You need to make them do things for you. And, like, buy you things.
Pam: Or have them sing that song! That the frog does in Looney Tunes.
Phyllis: Make them kiss each other.
Meredith: Make them kiss me.