Erin: Oh, you're doing so good. Oh my God, you're superman over there. [Andy's phone vibrating]
Irene: You should take it. It's probably your girlfriend wondering where you are.
Andy: Nope. It's just work. Not important. You know, I can really feel this is my quads, I can tell I'm getting stronger.
Irene: You really wouldn't feel those kinds of results after one session.
Andy: I don't know. [phone vibrating] Just let it vibrate. It's fine.
Irene: You could put it on silent.
Andy: I don't think it does that.
Irene: Just go to preferences, then click–

Jim: [on the phone] Andy?
Andy: Jim?
Jim: Andy, where are you?
Andy: I- I'm home in bed. I've been in bed all day. I got the- I got the serious poops, man.
Irene: He's here in Tallahassee, trying to turn my life upside down.
Jim: What? You're in Florida? Andy, Nellie Bertram's trying to take your job.
Andy: What do you mean, take my job?
Jim: Like, set up camp in your office and is calling herself the manager.
Andy: Okay... Jim, I really appreciate you looking out for me, but I'm not coming home without Erin. So I'll talk to you later.

Jim: Guys, we cannot do these performance reviews, okay? If we go into them, you're basically accepting Nellie as your manager, and trust me, you do not want her as your manager.
Angela: Trust you? The way Pam trusted you to provide for her so she wouldn't have to work?
Pam: I like working here.

Nellie: Alright. Let's get going. First up, it is the woman with the beautiful fingernails and the tiny feet, Phyllis.
Phyllis: Nellie, I'm sorry, but I don't feel comfortable being evaluated by someone I don't know.

Nellie: So, Phyllis, I have been very impressed with you.
Phyllis: Really?
Nellie: Oh, yeah. The way you conquered your fear and came in here, and now the way you sit there... all very impressive.

Jim: I mean, if we go in there and take these raises, what are we saying? That it's okay for someone to just take someone else's job? Shouldn't work like that.
Dwight K. Schrute: No, you know what? Nellie's right. That is exactly how it should work. Darryl, this office is mine now.
Darryl: No.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes.
Darryl: No.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes.
Darryl: No.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes.
Darryl: No.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes.
Darryl: No.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes. Yes, sorry too late. I'm here. This is mine. Back off. [Darryl pulls him out of the office by his hair] Ow! Ow, ow, ow. Ow, ow, ow, Ow. Well fought. I accept the outcome.

Creed: [to Dwight] Touch me and I'll sue.

Nellie: Jim, time for your review.
Jim: No, it's not, because you don't really work here.
Nellie: Why are you so staunchly defending your friend, who has abandoned you? Wouldn't you rather come talk with me? Maybe definitely get a raise?
Jim: Yeah, that's the thing. I don't know if you can even give raises.
Nellie: Jim, have you ever heard of a character named Tinkerbell?
Jim: Yes.
Nellie: I'm Tinkerbell.
Jim: No.
Nellie: Mm-hm. I'm a magical fairy who floated into your office to bring a little bit of magic into your lives, to give you all raises.
Stanley: And we are grateful.
Nellie: But here's the thing about Tinkerbell, Jim. Everyone has to believe in her or she doesn't exist.
Jim: She dies.
Nellie: She dies!

Andy: That did not go how I wanted it to. Ugh. I have a whole ton of Erin's favorite food for the drive back, eggplant parm. [tosses it out car window] It's biodegradable. Animals will eat it.

Erin: Andy wait! Andy! Andy wait! Don't go! Andy I love you! Stop! Oh, this is the wrong Prius. I don't love you. I'm sorry.
Andy: Erin! [horns honking as Andy and Erin kiss]
Erin: Andy.
Erin: Let's get out of here.
Andy: Okay.
Erin: Let's go.
Andy: Wait, we have to go back and get your stuff.
Erin: No, I don't have any stuff.
Andy: Like your toothbrush and stuff.
Erin: I don't have one.
Andy: You don't have a toothbrush?
Erin: No.
Andy: How do you not have a toothbrush?
Erin: I just... There's always one around.
Andy: You just use whichever one is sitting there?
Erin: I always find one. Have you ever heard of buying a toothbrush?
Andy: Of course. I own my toothbrush.