Frankie: [sighs] Well, I'm fine.
Mike: You sound great.
Frankie: No, I am. My ovaries are fine. Unfortunately, they're like raisins. And not the cute, plump California ones that dance and wear gloves. They're like the hard, shriveled, sad, deformed ones in the Raisin Flakes we get from the Frugal Hoosier.
Mike: Well, this can't be a shock, Frankie. I mean, you are 50...
Frankie: I know what I am, thanks. [exhales sharply] You don't get it. Because they don't shut men's factories downs. They only shut women's factories down.
Mike: What factories?
Frankie: This factory. I mean, I liked knowing it was open. Now it's all red-tagged and padlocked with bulldozers in the parking lot.
Mike: I feel like anything I say here is gonna be wrong, so... you want to just hug me?

Axl: Let me ask you something. You ever order a glass of wine and think, "Hmm, I could really go for a nice thirst-quenching beer"? Or drinking a beer and think, "Hmm, wine would really add some class to these nachos"? Well, now you don't have to choose, 'cause I've solved that age-old question. Allow me to introduce you to the latest in taste sensation... Bwine!
Frankie: Bwine?
Axl: That's right. Beer plus wine equals Bwine. It was either that or "Weer," but that sounds a little too much like "Weird," and that is just not good marketing. Business major.
Mike: Wait, you're actually planning to sell this stuff? As a beverage? To people?
Axl: Oh, not just this one. I have created several varieties of Bwine. I have a Cabernet mixed with a stout, a Caber-stout, a pale ale mixed with a Chardonnay, a pale-ardonnay, and a fruity yet malty Merlot-enbrau.
Mike: Hm. Ahh... What's worse than bad?
Frankie: Oh, I don't know, maybe it just needs more wine. Or less wine. Or more sugar. Sugar helps with everything.
Axl: Yeah, I'm still fine-tuning my recipes. But once I lock them in, I'm taking these babies public. I'm telling you, Bwine is gonna bwow up!
Mike: [sighs] Just don't go wasting my beer.
Axl: Oh, come on, please. I'm creating a fine line of fine Bwines. I'm not gonna be using your Frugal Hoosier "dented but drinkables."

Brick: Well, thank you for showing up. I-I'd better get over to the dessert table. I grabbed some loose cookies from your nightstand. They're in my backpack.
Frankie: Actually, Brick, I took care of that.
Brick: Wow. Why would Nancy Donahue do a whole table dedicated just to me?
Frankie: Nancy didn't do it. I did it.
Brick: How did you find a store that had cupcakes with my name on them?
Frankie: These aren't from the store. I made them. I did it all this myself. I was up till 4:00 a.m. baking, cutting out decorations, blowing up the balloons, making your favorite lime-green JELL-O salad.
Brick: Oh, my God. It isn't even Thanksgiving.
Frankie: Brick, I just want you to know, we could not be more proud of you. And this is proof, 'cause I hate doing this. I mean, it's easy to do things you like for people, but doing something you hate... that's love.
Brick: Thanks, Mom. I love you, too.

Frankie: Brick, hello? I ask you if we have anything to be proud of, and you're talking to me about acing some stupid geometry test? You made National Honor Society!
Brick: Oh. Right.
Frankie: W-Why didn't you tell me?
Brick: I don't know. I didn't think it was that big a deal. Plus, every time there's an event at school, you and Dad roll your eyes. Then if you do come, you show up late. You always complain about having to bring a dessert, even though we usually just stop by on the way and grab some store-bought cookies. You sit on the end of the row, so that way you can leave early, and...
Frankie: Okay, okay, okay. I get it.

Lexie: So, uh, is he still dating April?
Sue: Ugh. I don't know what's going on with them. They got married, then divorced, now they're dating. It's weird.
Lexie: Huh. So, are they, like, exclusive?
Sue: [scoffs] God, Lexie, you sound like my friends in high school who used to like... [gasps]
Lexie: Don't make me say it.
Sue: Don't say it.
Lexie: I don't want to say it.
Sue: Don't say it.
Lexie: I like Axl.
Sue: No, you said it! [crying]