Mike: Okay, clearly, you two shouldn't be in the same room... ever. Can't one of you switch to a different period or school or something?
Frankie: Look, I'd say try getting along, but I'd never keep a straight face. Why don't you pretend you don't know each other?
Axl: That was my plan, too, but Sue kept talking to me.
Sue: You pushed my desk into the hallway!
Axl: You left me no choice!
Mike: Enough. The whole reason we send you to school is so we don't have to deal with you for seven hours a day. Now go do your homework.
Axl: I don't have any.
Sue: Yes, we do.
Axl: [gasps] See?! That's exactly what I'm talking about!

Brick: Have you been spying on me?
Dr. Fulton: Whoa. Whoa. Stop the interrogation. I'll spill. Here, have-- have a seat. Hi. I'm Dr. Fulton, the school therapist. Your social skills teacher gave me the heads up about this guy named Brick.
Brick: Look, if this is gonna turn into a whole thing, I'm gonna need cookies. The nurse gives you cookies.
Dr. Fulton: Can I be straight with you, Brick? You don't seem to have many friends. And I get that. You know, I didn't have a girlfriend until I was 30. [chuckles] But this is no time to bring up Shelly. Let me cut to the chase.
Brick: Please.
Dr. Fulton: In all my observing, I don't think I once saw you having a conversation with another student.
Brick: Well, I don't know. I'm pretty sure I said, "Take one and pass it back."

Dr. Fulton: You know, making a connection is not as tough as you might think. Have you watched the kids in the hall? They have this whole unspoken language of communication that helps them to link up. Sometimes it can be something as small as just, like, a tiny head nod.
Brick: They also think it's fine to punch each other in the privates.
Dr. Fulton: [laughs] Well, that is always a classic. But the good news is, I think I can teach you some strategies that might help you to score some amigos. Are you game for that?
Brick: Do I have a choice?
Dr. Fulton: No, you do not. I think the best way to proceed would be to schedule our sessions during your library time.
Brick: What? No, not my library time. You can't do that. I know how this works. You can't do anything without my parents' permission.
Dr. Fulton: Oh, but, Brick... I already have it.

Sue: Look, Axl, it's no picnic for me being your partner, either. You don't think I would have rather been paired up with Spencer Hegman and his notorious attention to detail? I would. But I got you instead. So let's just try to make the best of it. So do you have any ideas for the paper?
Axl: [mouth full] No.
Sue: Resume?
Axl: Negatory.
Sue: Food demonstration?
Axl: [opens mouth full of chips]
Sue: Oh. Axl, stop screwing around! Vijal Bawa and Connie Wong have already started. I know this for a fact!

Axl: Okay. I'm calling it on boredom. Night.
Frankie: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Not so fast. It's your turn to do the dishes.
Axl: Oh. Right. Oh, wish I could, but I can't. Got a really big project tomorrow, so I'm just gonna go watch a few hours of TV to get the brain fired up and then get started.
Sue: Don't bother. It's already done and tied up and stuffed in a bag by the door. As should you be for your lackluster effort.
Frankie: Wait. Wasn't this project both of yours?
Both: Yes.
Axl: But I guess she went ahead and did it without me. Can you believe this? I was so looking forward to learning, and she robbed me of that. She's so selfish.
Mike: Guess that frees you up to do the dishes, then.
Axl: Unless... Tag. You're it. [laughs] See, Brick? That's how it works.

Dr. Fulton: Had a thought, Brick. I've been sending you out to talk to other kids with nothing in your toolbox. And that was my bad. So I've taken the liberty of scripting up a little practice conversation that I think might just get the old ball rolling, huh?
Brick: "Hey."
Dr. Fulton: "What's up, dude?"
Brick: "Oh, you know. Just chillin'."
Dr. Fulton: "That's cool."
Brick: "Hey, man, I like your style. You seem like a cool guy."
Dr. Fulton: "You seem cool, too. And hey. I totally appreciate the eye contact, buddy."
Brick: "Thanks. Maybe we could hang out sometime. What do you say, bro?" I really don't think I would say "bro."
Dr. Fulton: Oh. Oh, okay. Well, that's no big. We'll just, uh, change that... to "ace," hmm?

Sue: Axl! Where have you been? Have you even gone over the note cards? We are presenting first today.
Axl: First! Calm it down, school Sue. I'll practice during the announcements. It's the Axl method.
Sue: No, that is the failing-the-class method. Just stick to the note cards and follow my lead. No improvising. Let me get you your apron. [opens bag] Oh, no. Oh, no! Oh, no!
Axl: What?
Sue: I grabbed the wrong bag. This is your stupid stuff! Oh! Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We're dead! Everything was in there: the paper, the resume, the note cards, the menus, the aprons. [gasps] The note reminding me to get the food for the class out of the fridge.
Axl: I gave you one job to do...
Sue: [pins Axl against the wall] You gave me every job!

Frankie: So we have paid our premiums, on time. We are organized people. Just bear with me. I have it right here. Whoops, that's a warranty for the popcorn popper. [laughs] And this is the record for Brick's chicken pox vaccine. Sorry. Takeout menu. Oh. Another chicken pox vaccine. This one's Brick, too. Oh, so Sue's the one that hasn't been vaccinated. Huh.

Wendell: Well, according to the inspection, your tree wasn't trimmed properly. Did you ever have it looked at by a certified arborist?
Mike: Oh, I'm sorry. We're in between arborists right now. What are you talking about?
Wendell: Here's the deal unless you trimmed your tree branches to the acceptable length, it's negligence.
Mike: And how are we supposed to know what the acceptable length is?
Wendell: I'm just gonna guess here, but I'm thinking it's the length of a branch that when the wind blows, doesn't fall down on your car.

Dr. Fulton: Brick, you asked me why you have to be friends with other kids, all right? And I ran it through the old think tank, and here's what I came up with. I have no idea. But I'm gonna be applying for a job cutting keys down at the hardware store if you don't show some signs of improvement, so I'm just asking you as a friend... [sighs] Can you help me out? Can you-- Can- Can you do me a solid?
Brick: Can we move our sessions so I don't miss library time, but I do miss gym?
Dr. Fulton: Done.