‘Halloween’
Season 2, Episode 6 - Aired October 27, 2010
Frankie wants Mike to dress up in costume when they're invited to a neighborhood Halloween party. Meanwhile, after Sue's plans for the night fall through, she ends up at a church event where she runs into Reverend TimTom again.
Quote from Axl
Axl: You know that bus crash yesterday on the interstate? I heard they got there before the paramedics and swiped a couple of the bodies.
Sean: I heard no one's ever gotten through without barfing. Mrs. Heck, nice to see you.
Axl: I told Michelle from algebra about how gnarly it's gonna be, and she wants to come. Best part: she'll bring some of her hottie friends.
Darrin: Wait. Do we really want chicks there? They'll get all scared.
Axl: Dude, think about it. Girls get scared, throw up all over the place, look to us for comfort. Boom! We're making out with 'em.
Darrin: Oh. Sweet! [Axl, Sean and Darrin exit]
Brick: Kissing's gross enough, but wouldn't it be worse after the girl just threw up?
Frankie: Your brother prefers to learn his lessons the hard way.
Quote from Sue
Sue: Well, change of plans. Sue Heck won't be attending Hallowing dance this year.
Frankie: Why? What happened?
Sue: Funny story. Every one decided to go with dates, which I think is... fantastic. Even better, there is this boy who I heard likes me. But he came up to my locker just to tell me that he doesn't like me. Isn't that hilarious? I didn't really wan't to go, anyway. I'll just stay home and end up having candy with the aunts. Yeah, three single ladies, drowning our sorrows in candy.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Hey, baby. Power to the people. Ooh. Who's the square in the plaid shirt? Oh, right. It's that costume that always sells out first every year... Mike.
Quote from Mike
Frankie: See? Even Bob dressed up.
Mike: I wouldn't count on winning any argument that starts with "even Bob."
Frankie: You know, I just don't get you sometimes. Halloween is a night of fantasy. Of-of being somebody you always wanted to be. Haven't you ever just wanted to be somebody else, just for one night?
Mike: Am I married or unmarried in this scenario?
Frankie: [sighs] No, I'm serious. Isn't there some dream, some fantasy, you know, something else you hope for in life?
Mike: Not really.
Frankie: Nothing?
Mike: No. I'm content.
Frankie: You're content? With this life? The one we're living right now?
Mike: Yep.
Frankie: Why?!
Quote from Sue
Axl: [v.o.] Meanwhile, Sue was looking toward a pretty dreary Halloween with stodgy old Reverend Hayver and the rest of the kids with nothing to do. And then something amazing happened.
Reverend TimTom: Happy Halloween, Sue Heck.
Sue: Reverend TimTom. You remembered my name... After only meeting me two times and then coming to my family's barbecue. That's amazing. But what are you doing back in Orson? I thought you moved to Dayton.
Reverend TimTom: Aw, Sue. I'm the Roving Rev. I go where the teens need me the most.
Sue: The teens in Orson need you, too. I can be troubled. I once took cough syrup even though my cough was mostly over.
Quote from Reverend TimTom
Reverend TimTom: Oh, I'm never too far away. I've either just been here, or I'm on my way back through. Well, Sue Heck, what do you say we get this party started? [plays guitar and sings] Plenty of ghosts on Halloween Some are nice, and some are mean I know a ghost pleasant as can be I ain't talkin' about Casper or Jacob Marley Sea to sea, coast to coast He's the absolute most, He's the holy ghost.
Quote from Brick
Man: Hey. It's groundskeeper Willie from The Simpsons.
Brick: Does no one read history on this block?
Mike: [to Frankie] I'm thinking he might just wanna go with Groundskeeper Willie.
Quote from Brick
Brick: Look, I'm not Groundskeeper Willie, Hannah Montana, a bagpiper, or anybody from Gossip Girl. [whispers] Gossip Girl.
Mr. Johnson: Well, I don't know any of those people, but, to me, you look like Sergeant Charles MacKenzie.
Brick: You know who I am?
Mr. Johnson: The man's a legend.
Brick: Mom, can I stay at Mr. Johnson's? He knows who I am!
Mr. Johnson: I'll walk him home later, Frankie.
Frankie: Okay.
Mr. Johnson: [Scottish accent] The Seaforth Highlanders would never leave a man behind.
Brick: Aye. Indeed.
Quote from Reverend TimTom
Reverend TimTom: Oh, hey. Don't worry about that tambourine. You're a very enthusiastic player. That's nothing to be down about.
Sue: I just thought this year was gonna be the best ever, 'cause I'm on cross-country. Did I tell you I'm on cross-country?
Reverend TimTom: Yeah. Yeah, I think you mentioned it a couple times during the song.
Sue: But I just feel like I'm behind in... everything. Getting my braces off, my first kiss... I'm sorry. I don't want to ruin your Halloween. Maybe I should just skip the hayride and go home.
Reverend TimTom: So you're in a rough patch. You know who else hit a rough patch? Jesus. He was dead. But then three days later, He was back on his feet, rockin' it resurrection style. My point is, you never know what's right around the corner.
Sue: You know, I think I will go on that hayride. Thank you, Reverend TimTom. You really do get teens.
Quote from Mike
Mike: Frankie. Hey. What's... What's going on? Are you really mad?
Frankie: What's going on? What's going on is that you wouldn't dance. Everybody was dancing: the smoking baby guy, the screaming Mel Gibson guy, both of The Situations... Oh, but not Mike.
Mike: What are you talking about? I was out on the dance floor.
Frankie: Yeah, but you wouldn't dance. You just stood there like a... Maypole while I danced around you. You looked ridiculous.
Mike: I looked ridiculous? What was this?
Frankie: I'm being a hippie!
Mike: Please. That's your signature move. You break it out at every wedding we go to.
Frankie: I- I don't get what's happening, Mike. I don't get what's happened to you. You used to dance before we got married.
Mike: You really want to go down this road of things we used to do before marriage that we don't do after?
Frankie: I just thought that for one Halloween, we didn't have to do the same old thing... Sitting on the couch, complaining about how kids are gonna smash pumpkins. I thought for once, we could put on some fringy vests... And just have fun, but, no, you're not fun. You're Mike.
Mike: I'm fun. We just have a different definition of the word is all. You think adults dressing up and- and bobbing for Swine Flu is fun, and I'm right.