Brick: Axl, can I ask you something? When you said you're leaving to go to college, what did you mean by that?
Axl: That I'll be leaving for college.
Brick: But you'll still be living here, right?
Axl: Mm, no. Brick, I'm... gonna be living at college. That's kinda how it works. What did you think was gonna happen?
Brick: I don't know. I guess I thought it'd just stay like this and then eventually you'd move into Mom and Dad's room. I just can't believe you're really leaving.
Axl: Bro, don't worry. I'll be home at Christmas to pick up my presents. And you can come visit me if you want. Might even need you to do some of my homework.
Brick: [exhales] I'm really gonna miss you, Axl.
Axl: I know, Brick. Everyone will.

Frankie: [v.o.] Human beings have always had the need to communicate, and the way we've done it has changed faster than we can keep up with but not necessarily for the better.
Frankie: Sue? Are you okay?
Sue: Yeah, I'm fine. I guess.
Frankie: What's wrong?
Sue: Mm, it's nothing. Okay. [Sue moans loudly]
Frankie: What?!
Sue: It's just... I was looking at Facebook, and all these pictures are popping up of everyone at Chloe Kirkwood's sleepover that I guess I wasn't invited to. A-and everyone was checking in and tagging each other.
Frankie: Well, I don't know what any of that is, but is sounds bad.

Frankie: How good of friends are you with this Chloe person anyway?
Sue: I don't know. As much as Carly is!
Frankie: Oh, Carly was invited?
Sue: Mm.
Frankie: Well, you didn't invite Chloe to your party, so that's probably why she didn't invite you to hers.
Sue: Yeah.
Frankie: Don't let it get to you. It's just how it goes sometimes.
Sue: Yeah, I guess. [moans loudly]
Frankie: Hey, that was good advice. That was "get up off the floor" advice. [Sue moans loudly] All right, well, if you're gonna stay there, could you roll over? I'm missing a sock.

Brick: You saw nothing!
Axl: No, I saw, like, a million bunnies in our closet.
Brick: [clicks tongue] For this crisp dollar bill, might you be willing to un-see them?
Axl: [grabs bill] Spill it. But make it brief. I'm already losing interest.
Brick: Fine. Do you remember Bugs, the bunny mom and dad got me to make me stop whooping?
Axl: Uh-huh.
Brick: Whoop! Well, Mom and Dad told me not to ever let him out. And, of course, I did, and then he made friends with this other bunny, and then they gave each other piggyback rides, fast forward, and here we are. Point of interest... he is a she.

Mike: Aren't you the one who says to say out of the girl drama?
Frankie: Yeah, well, it's a different world now, Mike. When we were kids, if you didn't get invited to something, you didn't find out about it. But now poor Sue is getting all these pictures popping up in her face. Ugh. And then they all comment on each other's pictures. Okay, you gotta hear these ridiculous comments that they write.
Mike: I don't think I do.
Frankie: [mocking voice] "OMG, you are so gorg!" "Could you be more sexy?" "Save some pretty for the rest of us." [groans] [normal voice] And I gotta tell you, some of these pictures are not that great.
Mike: Who cares? Sue does plenty of stuff with friends.
Frankie: Does she? 'Cause all I see her posting is a picture of her foot. And no one's even liked it yet. She's not gonna get invited anywhere if she's the foot-posting girl.
Mike: Frankie's she's growing up too fast anyway. We should be thrilled she's home with her family, taking pictures of her foot. I'd like to stay home tomorrow and take pictures of my foot. Instead, I gotta use it to drive 170 miles to see your dad.
Frankie: Look, if you do something nice for him, maybe I'll do something nice for you.
Mike: Really?
Frankie: Not that.

Tag: You know, my friend Stewart Merilander is in terrible shape. [sighs] He's got the diabetes, and the wheel on his trash can falls off, so I had to put it back on for him. Should've taken a couple minutes. Takes me an hour.
Mike: Yep. Some things take longer than we ever think they will.
Tag: But the thing is, the next week, he brings me a tomato. See what I'm getting at here, Mike?
Mike: [inhales] No, you know, uh, I-I don't, Tag. We've been here going on two hours now, and I'm still not really sure why you wanted to have lunch with me. Is your health okay?
Tag: Pissing like a teenager again.

Brick: Well, that was a bust. Didn't move a single bunny. And somehow, when my back was turned, I ended up with these. [kittens mewling]
Axl: What? How did this happen? God! I gave you one job.
Brick: The only person who wanted the bunnies was a man who worked at the Frugal Hoosier. On a related note, I do not think Mom should buy chicken there anymore.

Mike: Enough with this, Frankie. You're prowling around Facebook every night, you're making up pretend friends. You're getting obsessed.
Frankie: This is not about me, okay? I'm worried about Sue. There's this whole cyber fun party going on out there, and I don't want her falling through the cracks.
Mike: What are you talking about? She just went out with Carly.
Frankie: Yeah, to the library. Sue's fine to go to the library with, but if you want a hot pretzel, Chloe's your gal.
Mike: Listen to me. Nobody on the computer is having as good a time as you think they are. Trust me on this one, Jill.
Frankie: [sighs] I know, I know. Maybe I am getting a little nuts.

Tag: So that's why you cut pickles in half.
Mike: Got it. So listen, Tag-
Tag: Now, women's lib-
Mike: Tag, wait. Just- Just... hold up. There's one story in your book that really stayed with me.
Tag: You mean the one about the bathroom stall in Wichita?
Mike: No. No, the one where you had to fire your friend, but you said the best way to do it was just look him in the eye and tell him the truth.
Tag: To be fair, the same thing applies to the stall in Wichita.
Mike: So I'm just gonna do it, Tag. I'm looking you right in the eye and I'm just gonna say it. I can't do this anymore. I can't do any more "Sundays with Tag" at Stuckey's. You ruined Stuckey's for me, Tag. You ruined Stuckey's. You- You ruined lunch, you ruined driving, you ruined coffee, you ruined listening, you ruined talking. It's killing me. You're killing me. [breathes deeply]
Tag: Wow. Well, you're really getting it now, Mike. That's exactly what I'm trying to teach you. Now on to the boudoir... if Frankie is anything like her mother, the bedroom...

Frankie: Don't forget to "check in." "Check in" to the Heck household. Be sure to do that.