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Jackie Likes Star Trek

‘Jackie Likes Star Trek’

Season 5, Episode 5 - Aired October 25, 2017

As their couples Halloween costume causes tension between Adam and Jackie, Murray offers some advice on compromise from his long marriage. Meanwhile, Barry and Lainey question their long-distance romance.

Quote from Adam

Jackie: Actually, there is no debate. "Trek" is better because it's about humanity's quest for knowledge and peace.
Adam: A quest for peace in the stars means no wars, which means the entire point of "Star Trek" is to eliminate "Star Wars". No, no! We're just talking! I'm not super angry at all!
Jackie: This is our first costume as a couple. It's a very big statement, which is why I should be Uhura and you should be Spock.
Adam: You want me to go out in public with a bowl cut and pointy elf ears? No, no. [exhales sharply]


Quote from Naked Rob

Naked Rob: I'll go first. Oh, mystical Ouija. Will there ever be more lenient laws on public nudity? Please say yes. Come on. Yes, Naked Rob wins!

Quote from Andy

Andy: I got one. Will I still hit that senior-year growth spurt my mother promised me? My mother lied!

Quote from Geoff

Geoff: Dude, Forget Lainey.
Barry: I can't help it! She's visiting Erica this weekend. It's like every time I close my eyes, I smell her Debbie Gibson "Electric Youth" perfume.
Geoff: That's just me. What? It's unisex.

Quote from Barry

Barry: You're right. No more calling Lainey. On an unrelated note, Geoff, what's my sister's number?
Erica: [answering the phone] Hello?
Barry: Just making my weekly phone call to make sure our bond is still strong.
Erica: You have never once called me before this very moment. The last words you said to me were, "Your bedroom is now my fart closet."
Barry: [laughs] That does sound like me. Anywho, how's it going? Having fun? Learning stuff? Are you near Lainey? And I don't care about you! Put her on the phone!

Quote from Lainey

Erica: Dude, he is obsessed.
Lainey: [scoffs] So emotionally out of control. Gosh, I miss that cute, shouty, red face.

Quote from Adam

Adam: Actually, I've come around on the "Star Trek" thing.
Jackie: Wait, really? You're gonna be my Spock?
Adult Adam: [v.o.] And so, I hit Jackie with each and every one of my dad's relationship techniques. I nodded.
Adam: I'll I'll be your Spock.
Jackie: Oh, my God. You're, like, the best boyfriend ever.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] And I echoed.
Adam: I am, like, the best boyfriend ever.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] And finally,
Jackie: I rented "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home." Should we watch it?
Adam: Mm...
Adult Adam: [v.o.] And I tampened like I'd never tampened before.
Murray: Come on.
Adam: [groans] Yeah. I will watch your thing.

Quote from Beverly

Murray: And that's why I became a father.
Beverly: Really? You became a dad so you could teach your son to be a jackass?
Murray: Hey, there she is.
Beverly: Stop it! How could you teach him all these terrible tricks?
Murray: What tricks?
Beverly: The think 'n' nod? The smile and echo?
Murray: How'd you learn about those tricks?
Beverly: Adam wrote 'em down.
Murray: You cracked Adam's code?
Beverly: You mean just not using vowels? Yes. How could you teach our son that that's how our relationship works?
Murray: Because that is how it works. You don't want my opinions about how ugly your towels are.
Beverly: You hate my towels? Those towels are soft and beautiful.
Murray: Mm, those towels are soft and beautiful.
Beverly: Well, thank you. I mean, that's- Oh, oh, gah! Stop it!

Quote from Murray

Murray: I told you not to write it down, you moron!
Jackie: What's that all about?
Adam: Who knows? Let's just focus on the thing we both love "Star Trek IV, Spock Does San Francisco."
Murray: You ruined a life today!

Quote from Adam

Jackie: Aww, you look as cute as a button.
Adam: I do look as cute as a button.
Jackie: We're gonna have the best Halloween ever.
Adam: We are gonna have the best Halloween ever.
Jackie: You're acting weird.
Adam: I am acting weird. [chuckles] See? We agree on everything and you're happy.

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