Erica: Long-distance relationships are the worst and never work.
Geoff: Yes, beating the odds!
Barry: See? You guys make it work.
Erica: Yeah, but we barely see each other.
Geoff: And our phone bills are out of control. I had to start mowing lawns.
Barry: Manual labor? Big Tasty's more of a corner-office, feet-up-on-the-desk kinda guy.

Adam: Pops, thank God you're here! There's a major crisis between me and Jackie. Only my love guru can help.
Pops: This is why I sit here waiting all day. Lay it on me, kiddo.
Adam: Hang on to your hat. Turns out, Jackie likes "Star Trek" more than "Star Wars." What do I do?
Pops: About what?
Adam: It's a fact. Force Freaks and Trekkies never get along. We're sworn enemies.
Pops: Okay, here's what you do. Nothing. 'Cause it's all dumb.
Adam: Dumb?! If I date a Trekkie, I lose all my street cred with my boys!
Pops: And just where is this street, and who are these boys?

Adam: Father? Which do you like best? "Star Wars" or "Star Trek"?
Murray: Which is the one with the purple fish?
Adam: Neither of them have purple fish.
Murray: "Star Wars" has got the guy with the little feet, right?
Adam: I have no idea who you're talking about. Do you mean Yoda?
Murray: No.
Adam: Hammerhead?
Murray: No.
Adam: Jawas?
Murray: No! I'm talking about the one guy with the weird head.
Adam: You mean Jabba the Hutt?
Murray: No.
Adam: Greedo?
Murray: No.
Adam: Admiral Ackbar?
Murray: No.
Adam: Aunt Beru?
Murray: Aunt Beru?!
Adam: Gah! I can't do this right now! Jackie and I have major problems to deal with.
Murray: [to himself] And that is how you get out of a ridiculous conversation.