Barry: Dad, we need to have an insanely important talk. And if you say, "Go to your mother," there will be serious consequences.
Murray: Not listening. Go to your mother.
Barry: Okay, you know how all the awesome stuff happens in New York and L.A. and Florida, but never here?
Murray: You do know that Philadelphia is the birthplace of our country, right?
Barry: Enough with your folk tales, old man!

Dave Kim: Just walk on over there and be like, "Yo, Waffles, remember me? Powdered sugar, sliced banana, side of sausage. Name's Adam Goldberg."
Adam: I can't say my name. It's too confusing. There's another Adam Goldberg in school. He's a senior. He told me in no uncertain terms that he's got dibs on the upper-class girls.
Dave Kim: Stop using the other Adam Goldberg as an excuse.

Evelyn Silver: You don't know which frat your boyfriend's in? Wait. Fast. What color are his eyes?
Erica: Breen.
Evelyn Silver: Breen? Oh, my God, are you George Glass-ing us?
Erica: George what? I mean, I don't even know what you're talking about.
Geoff: Come on. Erica, of all people, wouldn't need to make up a boyfriend.
Erica: Thank you, Geoff. I mean, I've never even seen "The Brady Bunch."
Geoff: Oh, you clearly just referenced the thing you said you didn't know, so now I feel sad for you.
Naked Rob: Me too.
Andy: It's all unraveling.
Evelyn Silver: Jordan Wahlberg! All you did was combine two names from New Kids on the Block! So cute.
Erica: It's not cute. It's real, and it's college, and breen is a color. It's brown mixed with green, so suck it.
Evelyn Silver: Well, I guess we'll believe it if and when we meet him.
Geoff: You know, my Nana says that sometimes wishing makes it so.
Erica: Your pity makes it worse.
Geoff: Agreed.

Murray: Look, I'm a stubborn guy. I can't change that.
Beverly: You can change, and you will.
Murray: It's an impossible ask.
Beverly: To start, you're taking me to Chi-Chi's, and I'm finally gonna try those sizzlin' "fa-gee-tas" everybody's raving about.
Murray: You know my rule about Mexican food. Can't do it.
Beverly: That's the whole point. You won't eat Mexican food 'cause once you had bad nachos at a Phillies game.
Murray: There was a war inside me, Bevy.
Beverly: That's on you for ordering beans and liquid cheese in an outdoor stadium in July.
Murray: I reject all Mexican foods forever.

Barry: I'm talking about now. It's called Live Aid. The world's biggest rock concert ever is happening here this weekend, and I need your car.
Murray: What's wrong with your van?
Barry: Doesn't start. I think it needs new spark plugs or gas or something. Point is, give me your keys and wallet. Hurry.

Murray: This concert's been all over the news. There's gonna be a million morons pouring into the city, each one with bad hair and worse ideas.
Barry: But I have the worst ideas! I should be there, too.
Murray: No way I'm allowing my car to be driven in that madness. It'll never return.
Barry: Do you even know who's performing at Live Aid?
Murray: I don't know, and more importantly, I don't care.
Barry: Rick Springfield, REO Speedwagon, the Hooters, Black Sabbath, RUN-D.M.C., Simple Minds, Judas Priest, Led Zeppelin, Bernard Watson, Joan Baez, Four Tops, Billy Ocean, Bryan Adams, Crosby, Stills & Nash, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, Neil Young, Bob Dylan, George Thorogood & the Destroyers, most of the Rolling Stones, all of Hall & Oates, Madonna, Phil Collins, Duran Duran, Eddie Kendricks and David Ruffin, Patti LaBelle, The Cars, Kenny Loggins, Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers, Santana, Pretenders, Ashford & Simpson-
Murray: Ashford & Simpson?! I'm in!
Barry: Really?
Murray: No! None of these names mean anything to me!

Barry: Mom! Talk some sense into this bad man. He's not letting me go to the world's most awesome concert.
Beverly: Well, if you're jonesing for some bitchin' tunes, what do you say we go to the Beach Boys concert, huh? "God only knows what I'd be without Schmoo"
Barry: Oh, my God, what are you singing?
Beverly: Come on, go on a Surfin' Safari with your mama. I got two tickets. Come.

Erica: Oh, my God! Do not "George Glass" anyone.
Adam: It's too late. My plan is already taking shape, and her name shall be Lampy Tableson.
Erica: Lampy's not a name.
Adam: She's foreign. She just transferred to Villanova from the University of Europe.
Pops: This Lampy sounds hot to trot.
Adam: Only a sad, desperate loser would stoop to George Glass-ing someone.

Barry: Ugh. So sad, you guys have to make up pretend lovers instead of knowing the joy of a authentic one. I'm talking about my longtime companion, Lainey. Sad.
Erica: Idiot. You had a fake girlfriend from Canada for three years.
Barry: Marian Lemieux wasn't fake! I met her at camp.
Erica: We went to the same camp. There was no Marian.
Barry: She spent all her time at the lake, but then had to leave for a modeling emergency. It happens!

Erica: Maybe it's not Omega Sig. I-It's Omega Beta. That's right. I'm tired.
Naked Rob: Actually, Omega Beta is a sorority. Yeah, we know because they put out a calendar every year.
Andy: It's quite tasteful, and the proceeds go to charity.