Adam: Well, well. It appears even my pathological sister can't pull off a George Glass.
Erica: Oh, and like you're doing any better?
Adam: In fact, I am. I have a romantic paintball date with Waffle Girl.
Erica: How is paintball romantic in any way?
Adam: Trust me, our love will be forged on the battlefield once she witnesses my unflinching courage and legendary bravery.

Adam: Aah! I'm so scared! That one grazed my hand a little. Don't hurt me! I'm just a little boy!

Beverly: Isn't this great, Mur? See how much fun we can have when you're not busy being a stubborn grump?
Murray: I have to admit, it's not that bad.
Waiter: And the chicken fajita for the lovely senorita. And for the senor-
Murray: Bup, bup. I ordered the steak "fa-gee-tas".
Waiter: My sincerest apologies, senor. Uh, no more steak fajitas.
Murray: No more steak "fa-gee-tas"?
Waiter: Murray, chicken's fine.
Murray: Those people over there, they were seated after us, and they got their steak "fa-gee-tas".
Beverly: This dinner is supposed to show me how not stubborn you are. Don't ruin it by being extra stubborn.
Murray: Look, here's what's gonna happen. You're gonna go to every table with steak "fa-gee-tas", take one off their plate, put it on my plate. Problem solved.
Beverly: You take those chicken "fa-gee-tas" and put them in a corn tor-till-a right now, or I'm going home.
Murray: Well, then go-
Waiter: Excuse me.
Murray: Because I'm not leaving until my "fa-gee-tas" are good and steaked. End of story.

Pops: You made some headway on Operation Waffle Girl. Only took you four years, but worth the wait.
Adam: I want to ask her out again, preferably to something not paintball.
Beverly: Oh, no, you don't, Mister. No more Waffle Girl. She is much too old for you.
Adam: Mom, I'm an actual man now. A man with needs. And I'm gonna show Waffle Girl just how much of a man I am, and it's gonna get so freaky, that... She is right there behind me, isn't she? I will come back in an other four years.

Murray: We got to turn around right now.
Beverly: Stop being so dramatic. It's just a little traffic.
Murray: You go into the Live Aid. I'll circle for three hours.
Beverly: No, don't circle. For once, can you not be so stubborn?
Murray: We could be here for days! Damn it! This is my [bleep] nightmare!

Adam: That's it! George Glass. Oh, Jan Brady, you giver of genius middle-child wisdom.
Pops: She's no Marcia, but she does have moxie.
Adam: That's how I'll impress Waffle Girl. I'm make up a fake older girlfriend, and then she'll know I can hang with mature ladies.
Pops: I don't know what that sentence means, but go for it, kiddo.

Erica: His name's Jordan Wahlberg, and he just transferred to Villanova.
Evelyn Silver: Oh, my God. I can't believe your new boyfriend's in college.
Erica: Yeah, Jordy's on a swim scholarship. He's crazy hot.
Evelyn Silver: You are so lucky. But not as lucky as finding a guy like my Geoffrey.

Murray: Hiya, buddy. Listen, uh, this space It's mine. [Horn honking] What are you- What are you honking? He's honking!
Beverly: We'll find another space!
Murray: We will not find another space. [Horn honks] Now you're honking at a private conversation between a man and his wife. [Horn honks] Fine. Two can play at that game. Honnnk! [Horn honks] Honnnk!

Adam: Well, if it isn't my sister, who pulled a George Glass after she specifically told me it was stupid.
Erica: For you. You lack the pathological qualities needed to pull it off. Me? Easy breezy.
Adam: Jordan Wahlberg?! You just took two New Kids on the Block and mashed them together.
Erica: Jordy is much more than a name. He's got big plans, and I put them down in this dossier. For example, after he goes to the Olympics, he's going to med school to become a urologist.
Adam: That's crazy! No one wants to be a urologist.
Erica: Face it, I'm unbeatable. I've thought of every detail. I was made to George Glass me a guy.
Adam: Well, I was made to George Glass me a gal.

Murray: You just said, "No rules," yet you just told me a rule, you moron!