Erica: I have a plan. When it comes to swearing, we have self-control. Lucky for us, our mom does not.
Adam: Oh, my God. You're gonna use the swear jar to scam Mom.
Erica: I ran the numbers. We need 723 big swear words. If we can up Mom's swear rate to twice an hour and nail her on some "hells" and "damn its" in between, we're gonna be slurping on strawberry daiquiris in the Bahamas in 13 days.

Erica: What about him?
Murray: Don't worry. Got you covered.
Adam: An "Adam" jar?
Murray: You pay up any time you say any weird stuff about space or robits or space robits.
Adam: So the Adam jar is just a nerd jar?
Murray: Yeah.
Adam: That's very hurtful.

Beverly: See? We're all just using these jars to become better people. By the end, I'll curse less, Erica will be a ray of sunshine, and Adam will be more accessible.
Adam: But we don't have that kind of money. Unless you have some way for us to steal fractions of a penny off every bank transaction, ala "Superman III."
Murray: Dollar.
Erica: Just stop talking.
Adam: I can't. It's like the Nothing in "The Neverending Story." It can't be stopped.
Murray: Dollar.
Erica: Just don't speak!
Adam: I'm like Indy when he drank the black blood of the Kali. I can't help myself.
Murray: Dollar.

Erica: You think you'll beat us? Well, I'll be an utter delight, and Adam won't even be a little bit nerdy.
Adam: Yeah! I'll be as cool as the ice planet Hoth.
Murray: $5.
Erica: Just stop talking.

Barry: Stupid Grateful Dead. I've been listening to a bass guitar solo for 20 minutes.
Pops: That's a lot of bass.
Barry: Everyone knows no song can be longer than 10 minutes unless it's The Sugar Hill Gang.

Pops: I know what'll make you feel better. [points to the TV] "What's Happening!!"
Barry: And I told you This kid Matt Bradley is trying to take my place as supreme and almighty leader of the JTP.
Pops: No, I'm saying "What's Happening!!".
Barry: I'm losing my posse! How are you not getting this?
Pops: I get it! I mean"What's Happening!!".
Barry: I told you what's happening 10 times!

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Much like my mom, who tended to swear, this is what Pops usually said.
[montage:]
Pops: What's happening? What's happening? What's happening? What's happening? What's happening? (Boom) What's happening?

Barry: Oh, "What's Happening". I love Rerun on these reruns. This is a classic. Rerun tries to bootleg a show, and then the Doobie Brothers stop an entire concert when they see Rerun taping them.
Pops: Thanks for ruining it.
Barry: Wait a minute. He ruined the concert. That's it! I'll record the Dead concert and get caught.
Pops: I'm gonna really ask this time. What's happening?
Barry: I'll tell you what's happening. I'm gonna make sure the JTP never see a Dead show again.

Beverly: I heard there's a new "Star Track" movie coming out. We should go see it, huh? Go see "Star Track"?
Adam: That is a title you would say.
Beverly: And I heard the best thing about the space movie is this one superhero named Hans Olo.
Erica: Run, Adam, run!
Adam: No! I got to say it. His name is Han Solo, not Hans. He's a rogue smuggler, not a Danish shoe cobbler.
Erica: You boned us.
Adam: Han Solo is from "Star Wars," not "Star Trek." And it's "Trek," by the way, not "Track"!

Andy: Dude, this 45-minute song is amazing.
Naked Rob: And everyone's so nice.
Geoff: Yeah, especially that one guy that invited me to live with him and those 10 other guys over there on that patch of lawn.
Barry: Hey, wouldn't it be awesome if we could listen to this concert later?
Matt: What's all that?
Barry: Definitely not illegal bootleg equipment that'll allow me to profit after selling them later!
Security Guard: Hey, pal, you trying to tape the show?
Barry: Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh! We're gonna have to go, huh?
Security Guard: For sure. Taping section's way over there. You can go on down.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Unfortunately for my brother, he picked the one band chill enough to let you tape them.