Beverly: A book signing? Me?
Mr. Whitby: We find it goes a long way when launching a new author. Also, your friends feel too guilty not to buy one.
Beverly: I'll make them buy 50 each!
Mr. Whitby: Much of the publishing game is about emotional blackmail. There's also a tremendous amount of sexual intrigue. [whispering] Maya Angelou.

Barry: This guy's the real deal.
Mr. Whitby: [normal voice] Oh, this deal is real, all right... as real as my teenage daughter's restraining order. [chuckles] City kids. You two are lucky you're so simple.
Erica: I hate this guy.
Mr. Whitby: Uhp! You sound just like my daughter. [chuckles] Anyhoo, you'll be signing at the provincial book store in this sad little town. I believe it's called St. Ann's Book Dump.
Beverly: I think you mean B. Dalton.
Mr. Whitby: That makes more sense.
Barry: Question... as an important relative featured prominently on the back side flap, what kind of royalties can I expect?
Mr. Whitby: Well, I'm just gonna start talking and hope my sentence carries me to the door. And I'm gonna start another sentence, and there we go!

Adam: Crap. The guys are here! Thank you for your fun ideas. We'll let you know.
Pops: Are you sending me away?
Adam: I just need you to step into a different room for, say, an hour.
Pops: I could pop down for some of your mom's monkey bread.
Adam: I don't need the details. Bye.

Adam: Thanks for picking me up, Johnny.
Johnny: Eh, it's the least I could do after you bought all those kegs.
Adam: Kegs? What are you talking about?
Johnny: You know, that money you left for me in that envelope in that drawer in your room.
Adam: What?! My Garbage Pail Kids emergency fund?!
Johnny: Honestly, who's worse... me or you?
Adam: Fine! It'll all be worth it when I wow Brea with these sweet Z. Cavaricci pants.
Johnny: I'm not so sure. Is she into little nervous pirates?
Adam: Doesn't matter, as long as Brea shows and we share a moment.
Johnny: So, your plan is to wear lady pants to a party in the hopes of spending a quiet moment with a girl way out of your league?
Adam: Admittedly, the plan has wrinkles.

Dave Kim: As the person who started this party, you need to do something.
Adam: Or we wait until Brea shows.
Johnny: Yo. Someone popped your parents' water bed. Seems... time-sensitive.
Adam: That's as good a sign as any. Attention, friends. This party is...
Adult Adam: [v.o.] But in that moment, Brea Bee was in the house, and all reasonable thinking went out the window.
Adam: ...the best party evah!

Adam: Brea! Hey.
Brea: Wow. There's... so much going on. [chuckles] How did you even get in those?
Adam: One leg at a time, baby. Then my mom has to latch all my buckles in back. What's your poison?
Brea: I'd take some water.
Adam: Hydration. Nice. Your body thanks you. Well, I-I didn't mean to talk about your body. I mean, you look lovely. Probably 'cause of all that water. Circled back. Saved it.

Adam: What am I doing?! I'm blowing it!
Dave Kim: I'm sorry! Is your romantic plan to destroy my house not coming to fruition? Maybe you can let me free and we can talk more about it!

Beverly: Hello, BevHeads. [chuckles] That's the new moniker I've given my legions of adoring fans.
Erica: What fans?
Barry: And why are you dressed like Melanie Griffith in Working Girl?
Beverly: Those two questions have the same answer... stardom.

Murray: Oh, look! You're on TV! We can finally control your volume.

Geoff: And she's with Lizzie, the human cup of coffee that starts my day.