Barry: First non-boring item to discuss... Big Tasty will be leaving shortly to attend a frat party.
Naked Rob: Good for you.
Andy: Fun.
Geoff: Greek life!
Matt: Sorry my birthday almost got in the way.

Barry: And I will likely be joining their brotherhood as a pledge.
Andy: You're killing it in college! And you're not the only one 'cause I just made Haverford's varsity crew team as their coxswain.
Naked Rob: And everyone over at Villanova is loving my nakedness. It's really nice to be a part of an open-minded community where nudity is celebrated.

Matt: My gap year working at The Gap couldn't be going better. I'm getting paid, and I'm learning a valuable jean-craft.
Geoff: And I just took my immersion into the Grateful Dead culture to the next level. Look. I grew my first dreadlock.
Barry: Look at us absolutely destroy post-high school, JTP.
All: JTP!
Barry: That's why when I'm a frat god and I ignore you and treat you like crap, I won't feel that bad. [laughs] JTP.
All: [weakly] JTP.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] While Barry left his crew in the dust for Greek life, my mom was on a mission to get my dad to enjoy life.
Murray: Come on! Get up! It's just a harmless head injury.
Vic: God did not intend the human neck to bend that way.
Murray: Man, I love football.
Vic: For sure.
Bill Lewis: It's all I have.

Beverly: Murray, I'm gonna need five minutes of your time and also the rest of your life.
Murray: What is this? I'm in the middle of a game here.
Beverly: You are aware that in two years, all of our little angels will be out of the house.
Murray: Just the thought of it makes me smile. Watch.
Vic: Oh, no. I've never seen your face do that.
Bill Lewis: You can tell the skin doesn't even know how to crease.

Beverly: If the past 20 years have taught us anything, it's that he is gonna sit in that damn chair for the rest of his life.
Bill Lewis: No man can sit in a chair for a lifetime. It can't be done.
Vic: Agreed. Every man has to move sometime.
Beverly: You don't believe me? Watch and learn. [places Adam's video camera] Meet me back here in six hours.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Yep, back before home surveillance and nanny cams, my mom invented the Murray cam, and what she found blew Bill and Vic's mind.
Vic: Unbelievable. If he didn't move that one time to pet the dog, I'd swear the VCR was paused.
Bill Lewis: He's the most gifted sitter I've ever seen.
Beverly: Maybe there is a way to get Murray out of that chair. I'm gonna steal his friends.
Bill Lewis: Oh, no! He has other friends?
Beverly: No. I'm talking about you two dopes.
Bill Lewis: Oh, good!

Beverly: If he sees us all doing amazing things together, he's gonna get jealous and want to do them, too.
Vic: So, what are you saying, Beverly?
Beverly: I'm saying come do Tai Chi with me.
Vic: Slo-mo karate? Oh, that does sound fun.
Bill Lewis: Well, I suppose I've always wanted to be able to tell people an anecdote.

Rick Kentwood: So, Erica, want to date a future leader?
Erica: I have a boyfriend, and yuck.
Rick Kentwood: Well, watch me turn that yuck into a yes.
Erica: And watch me turn that yes into a barf.

Barry: Hi. Barry Goldberg. Frat nickname to be determined, but I'm hoping to go with "Captain Chug" or "Sexhawk."