Vic: Oh, no. I was trying to slow this thing down, but I spun it up. Bill, I could use your hands.
Bill Lewis: I got you, buddy.
Vic: Aah.
Murray: Is this because of all those dumb activities you wanted me to do?
Beverly: Yes.
Vic: Aah!
Beverly: You know what, Murray? I always assumed that when the kids left home, I'd at least have you to spend my days with. Boy, was I wrong.
Vic: Ahh.
Murray: So I like to sit. What's the big deal?
Beverly: The big deal is, the only reason you came down here is because your friends weren't around. You got out of your chair for them, but for me, you were happy to just sit there.

Erica: Listen, Barry, you're so much better without those guys.
Barry: No, I'm not. One of the reasons why I love Animal House was the idea that you could go from being a loser one minute to having 50 best friends the next.
Erica: You don't need a fraternity to do that.
Barry: Well, it hasn't happened in this dorm or anywhere else at this college. Maybe Rick is right... I'm not good enough.
Erica: Don't you get it? You already belong to an amazing fraternity, with true friends who love you.
Barry: Who?
Erica: The JTP. And they're struggling as much as you are.
Barry: I was such a jerk to them...
Erica: Such a jerk. But the great thing about that is, a brother always forgives.

Murray: I'm a-ready.
Beverly: What am I looking at?
Murray: I thought the two of us could do the Jazzercise.
Beverly: What?
Murray: You know, the thing with the jumping around and the crappy music that you love so much. [music plays] I'm doing it up. Jazzercising. Jazzercising. Can't stop Jazzercising. I can't do it!

Andy: Hey. Why aren't you hanging out with your new fraternity brothers?
Barry: 'Cause I already have brothers, and they make up the greatest fraternity known to man... JTP. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you guys.
Matt: Doesn't matter 'cause you're here now.
Barry: JTP.
All: JTP!
Barry: Now let's give stupid, sweet Matt Bradley his birthday spanking.

Beverly: Ta-da.
Murray: Oh! That is perfect!
Beverly: Let me see yours.
Murray: I made a calendar to show all the fun times we're gonna have.
Beverly: I love it.
Murray: Yeah!

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Sometimes in life, we lose track of what's important. It's easy to take relationships for granted, especially the ones that have been around for so long. Sure, there's bumps along the way, but for the right people, coming back together makes you stronger than ever. Those are the bonds that forge us for life.

Barry: Hi. Barry Goldberg. And, no, you are not looking into a mirror.
Rick Kentwood: What can I do for you?
Barry: Well, it's obvious I'm Beta Zeta material, so why don't you just make me a brother now so we can start making morally questionable choices together?