Red: Ah, look, you've tortured yourself enough for one day. Let's just pack it up and call the plumber.
Eric: No, no. Look, I can fix some things. Boba Fett's jetpack doesn't just glue itself back on. You know what? I'm gonna fix the lawnmower. Right now.
Red: Now, why would you wanna embarrass yourself like that? I mean, I'll be standing there and you'll be standing there, and the mower won't work, and I'll say something mean and claim it's a joke.
Eric: I'm gonna fix that lawnmower. I'm gonna fix the hell out of it. And when I'm done, you're gonna be able to race that baby at the Indy 500.
Red: Now, look, Son, just so you know, the lawnmower's the red thing with the wheels on it.
Eric: Yeah? Well, not for long!

Fez: You know, if a white man had stolen that car, it'd be all over that news.
Hyde: Fez, not having every cop in Wisconsin looking for us is probably a good thing.
Fez: Shut up, whitey.

Eric: Mom, Dad, come quick! I fixed it! I fixed it. It was like God had control over my hands. Let me... Let me start it for you.
Red: Eric, don't. I've seen you use a wrench. If you went lefty-loosey instead of righty-tighty, we could all die. Let me just put this in the garage.
Eric: Wait, but, Dad...
Kitty: No, no, honey, honey. Your father's right. It's not safe. We'll let Bob start it later.

Red: Why? Why? Why is it always my house?
Hyde: You really wanna know, or you wanna just keep yelling?
Red: I wanna keep yelling. I don't care whose fault it is. Just get that thing out of here now!
Kelso: Yes, sir.
Red: All right, everybody. Show's over, let's go in the house.
Eric: Dad, the lawnmower. I fixed the lawnmower, you've gotta see. Kelso, wait!
Hyde: Hey, look, Fez, just like your frog.
Red: Ah, well, it was broken anyway.
Eric: No, it wasn't. I fixed it. Mom, you believe me, don't you?
Kitty: Of course I do, honey. I believe that you believe you fixed it.

Colette: Nice name tag. Are you a garbage man?
Kelso: It's a badge!

Fez: Don't you walk back into that house. Don't you walk back into the house!

Fez: I want you out! Out, I say!
Laurie: It's my house!
Fez: Oh, really? Because you didn't sleep here last night. Or the night before that. Or the night before that.
Hyde: To be fair, Fez, her army buddies only get a three-day pass.
Fez: Listen to me...
Laurie: No, you listen...
Kitty: Pipe down! The neighbors are staring. Don't mind us. Just practicing for a show. [laughs] Take a bow and get in the house.

Kelso: [over bullhorn] What seems to be the problem here?
Officer Kennedy: Put that down.
Kelso: Put that down.
Officer Kennedy: No, put that down!
Kelso: Put what down?
Officer Kennedy: Give me that. [takes bullhorn]

Donna: How would you like to see a police car?
Colette: I already saw one when the police took my daddy to jail.
Jackie: All right. You know what? Cheer up, or you're not getting lunch.
Donna: Jackie!
Jackie: Oh, Donna, don't worry, you're getting lunch.
Donna: Okay, you know what? You don't have a clue when it comes to dealing with kids.
Jackie: Well, if you think you're so good at it, why don't you give it a shot?
Donna: Okay, I will. Come on, Colette, you've just been upgraded to Little Donna. [Colette blows a raspberry at Jackie]
Jackie: What... You know what? It is your loss because I was gonna let you give me a pedicure.

Fez: I can't believe they trusted Kelso with a cop car.
Hyde: I can't believe he left the keys in it.
Fez: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Hyde: Burn rubber, little buddy.
[as the tires screech on Kelso's cop car, he rushes out of The Hub's bathroom:]
Kelso: Hey! You're out of soap in the men's room. My eagle eye catches everything.