Bob: Tell you what. Santa will bring you the bike for Christmas if you go bring Santa a hoagie. [boy runs off] You know what I'd really like for Christmas? Patty Ryals.
Jackie: All you men ever think about is what you want. What about what we want? Boys never grow up. You know, one minute they agree to go to a party with you, and the next, they're in a basement full of stolen toys. And you're no better. Sitting there pretending to be Santa Claus.
Boy: You're not Santa Claus?
Donna: No. No, no, he is. He is, it's just that she is the evil Ice Witch. Come on, let's get you some grown-up punch.

Fez: I just don't feel right about taking these toys away from kids.
Eric: Oh, but, Fez, this could be the Christmas that I never had. My parents wouldn't get me cool stuff when I was a kid. Every year, I got a raincoat. And then, to make sure it worked, we had to go outside and Red would spray me with the hose.

Kitty: Okay, girls, time to get to the party.
Donna: Well, Jackie, look, I think Eric and Hyde are feeling the pressures of life, and they want to have one last blowout.
Jackie: Okay, Steven does not need a blowout, he needs a kick in the nads.
Kitty: It's Christmas. At holiday time, we say, "He needs a kick in the sleigh bells."