Fez: Hmm. Where should the three of us go on our drive?
Eric: Actually, Fez, just Donna and I are gonna...
Fez: Oh, I see. So, you are going to ditch me. Just like Hyde. Every day, I am here with my heart on my sleeve hoping only for friendship and acceptance. And what do I get? Abandonment. Loneliness. When is it Fez's turn? Where is my whore? [Hyde enters with a confident stride] Damn you, Hyde. Did you go horseback riding without me?

Red: We don't think that you should go.
Kitty: New York is a dangerous place.
Red: A young man today needs a high school diploma.
Kitty: In New York, you get mugged for no good reason.
Red: Do you have any idea what the job market is like?
Kitty: The people are rude. And you have feelings.
Red: Without that sheepskin, you are nothing. And not the kind of nothing that you are now. An even lower, more pathetic nothing.
Kitty: They spit. That's right, they spit!
Red: What are you gonna put on your resume? "Dumbass"?
Hyde: I'm not afraid of anything, and I'm going.
Red: Well, that didn't go that great. Way to go, Kitty.

Red: It worked!
Kelso: Smaller paddles!
Red: Congratulations, son. You have seen the future.
Kelso: Yeah. You're so right, Red. Home computers. That is the future.
Red: No, no, no. Not computers. Soldering. The future is soldering. [scoffs] Computers.

Red: Kelso! You have 10 seconds to tell me what you're doing.
Kelso: I can explain-
Red: Nine seconds!
Kelso: See-
Red: Eight!
Kelso: Okay, but this counting-
Red: Three.
Kelso: What? No, there's no way that was five seconds.
Red: It is now. Three!
Kelso: I just wanted-
Red: Two.
Kelso: Smaller paddles.
Red: Time!
Kelso: Don't hurt me!

Red: He can't just drop out of high school. And New York City is no place for a 17-year-old kid.
Kitty: It's Sodom and Gomorrah with a subway.

Kitty: Okay. Jackie, all right, honey. Let's just review. What do you think went wrong with this pie?
Jackie: Too many eggs?
Kitty: No.
Jackie: The pan was too small?
Kitty: Not even close.
Jackie: Is it because Michael doesn't love me anymore?
Kitty: Almost. It's because you were talking on the phone about Michael instead of watching the pie, like you promised me you would this time. Again. You liar. [laughs]

Donna: What are you doing?
Eric: Nothing. [they resume kissing]
[fantasy: a see-through shot shows Eric trying to figure out the lock combination as he attempts to unhook Donna's bra]
Donna: How's it going back there?
Eric: Okay, Donna, just for that, I'm not taking your bra off.
Donna: Well, you weren't taking it off anyway.

Fez: [on the phone] Hello, House of Chicken? How big are your wings?
Hyde: Breasts.
Fez: How big are your breasts? This is Fez, who is this? [Hyde signals for Fez to hang up] My first prank call. Every night with you is an adventure.
Hyde: Yeah, Fez, it's a real roller coaster, ain't it?
Fez: Hyde, how come you do not have a girlfriend? Maybe if you did something with your hair.

Eric: Damn. Damn. Damn.
Kelso: [reading a magazine] What happened?
Eric: You just beat me 15-nothing.
Kelso: So what? I mean, hitting a ball with two paddles is so boring. I need a new challenge, something totally different. I need to hit the ball with... smaller paddles. Where's Red keep his tools?
Eric: Oh, no. Not Red's Pong. I don't think you should be going-
Kelso: The garage! Of course!
Eric: Okay, if you screw that up, he's gonna blame me.
Kelso: I know.

Jackie: Thank you so much for helping with my home ec project, Mrs. Forman.
Kitty: You're welcome, honey. Now, Jackie, have you ever made a pie before?
Jackie: No, I don't really cook much. I just plan on getting by on my looks.
Kitty: Okay, then.