Red: All right, when Kitty shows up, she's gonna be pretty mad. So... I think we should just leave her here.
Hyde: She can't get any madder.
Jackie: I think we should definitely leave her here. [Kitty comes out]
Red: Kitty.
Jackie: They tried to leave you. I tried to stop them.
Kitty: Jackie, I'm perfectly fine. I just need to speak to Red in the car for a minute. [they get in the car] How could you, Red Forman? Steven stayed with Jackie, but you went off and gave my funnel cake to those whores.
Red: I was just trying to have a little fun.
Kitty: Oh, yeah? Well, you can take your fun and shove it up your... [horn]

Donna: Kelso, tell her the truth or I'm gonna touch you with Mrs. Forman's special occasion panties.
Fez: Oh, those are in my backpack.

Red: Listen, Kitty, I'm sorry about today. It's just... They pay those ladies to flirt with guys like me. They're almost hookers. [off Kitty's look] I should have stayed in the den.
Kitty: No, no, no. Those girls didn't bother me. I can outlast those tramps any day of the week. It was just seeing Steven and Jackie together.
Red: Oh, you can't compare our mature relationship to what those kids have. We're past all those highs and lows. We're like a sailboat in a dead calm. Look, Kitty, the important thing is every morning I get to wake up next to my favorite girl in the whole world.
Kitty: Reginald Albert Forman. [they kiss]

Kelso: Leo, check it out. It's my baby. Oh, this is Brooke. Oh, isn't she adorable?
Leo: Yeah. I can see why you knocked her up.

Brooke: Michael, thanks again for watching Betsy. Everyone else was busy.
Kelso: Thanks for trusting me. Yeah. It's my first time. I'm pretty nervous. I tried on three outfits.
Brooke: No, you guys will be great. All little girls love their daddies. Plus, I bet you'll probably like a lot of the same toys.

Eric: Okay, Donna, I just spent the last 10 minutes cologning and powdering myself. Now, let's peel them and feel them.
Donna: We can't because Fez is here.
Fez: Yeah. I'm here and you can't. [smiles]
Eric: Fez, buddy, come on. You of all people should understand how important sex is to a man.
Fez: Why should you do it if I can't?
Eric: Because I have a girlfriend.
Fez: Why should you have a girlfriend if I can't?
Eric: Okay, how are we gonna work this out?
Fez: Give her to me.

Kelso: Why is she still crying? We just changed her.
Fez: Maybe she doesn't like you. Baby burn.
Kelso: No. I know what it is. We left her teddy bear at my house. I'll go get it. Here.
Donna: Um... Aren't you gonna take her with you?
Kelso: No, I can't take Betsy in my car. I took out the seat belts to make it go faster.

Donna: Okay, don't grab those. I'm not your mommy.
Fez: Yeah, a lady once said that to me on the bus. Well, it wasn't a lady. It was more like a man lady. It's hard to tell sometimes, you know? [Donna is silent] [to himself] Why tell this story, Fez? Why?

Hyde: Yeah, man, look at this place. Chrome, tires, half-dressed women. It's like Sunday dinner at my grandma's house.

Kelso: Okay. I got Betsy's teddy bear, and it wasn't easy dodging my brothers. I got a dart in the calf. Oh, here's my little girl. Hey, baby, look. Look, it's your teddy bear and your handsome daddy. Why won't she stop crying? Maybe it is me. What if she doesn't like me?
Donna: Kelso, don't take it personally. I didn't like you when I first met you. But that's because you were peeing on my swing set.
Kelso: Well, it was brand-new and I was jealous.