Eric: Hey, maybe I don't have to tell her. Maybe she'll just think Mr. Bonkers ran away.
Red: That works. That's what we told you when...
Kitty: Shh!
Eric: What?
Kitty: Eric, honey, eat your pizza rolls.
Red: Oh, come on. How hard can this be? You go over there and you say, "Hey, I'm a cat killer. I murdered..." [laughs] "I murdered your cat." [laughs] But you try to say it with a straight face. What? Am I the only one that sees the humor in this?
Kitty: I think you might be, Red.

Red: Oh, come on. That thing was always messin' in my yard, goin' through our garbage.
Laurie: Now we have Hyde for that.
Hyde: Oh, yeah, Laurie, and what exactly do you do? Oh! That's right. The Packers.

Fez: Hyde, which one's your favorite Charlie's Angel?
Hyde: I kinda like the blonde with the huge rack.
Fez: Yes. And she distracts the criminals with her huge rack.
Hyde: Plus, she's got that huge rack.
Fez: Yeah. Oh, my stomach. My cheesy, puffy friends have become my enemy.

Kelso: Man... You guys... I gotta break up with Laurie.
Hyde: Kelso, remember how you said you were gonna juggle 'em both till it blew up in your face?
Kelso: Yeah?
Hyde: Well... kablooey!
Kelso: Okay, I know I tried before, right? But this time, Laurie'll see how much I love Jackie and that my motives are good and pure. And then she'll just let me go.
Hyde: Then you and all the leprechauns can ride unicorns to a wonderful celebration in Fairyland.

Fez: Look! The angels are runnin' in slow motion.
Kelso & Hyde: Damn! Damn!
Hyde: That's just good TV.

Jackie: Eric, I just saw Michael kissing your sister. Okay, he's a rat! He's been cheating on me!
Eric: What? Well... Surely, there must be some kind of mistake! Right, guys? Come on.
Hyde: Well, it sure is a mind-blower.
Jackie: So that's it. Michael and I are over.
Fez: Really? And by "over" you mean...
Jackie: I mean over and done! All right? Forever.
Fez: Uh-huh. Now, by "forever" you mean...
Jackie: And after everything I put up with! I mean, God, him taking Pam Macy to the prom, setting my house on fire, lying about Laurie... God!
Hyde: To be fair, that's only the stuff you know about.

Fez: This is incredible. My time has come. Today, I will make Jackie mine! [painful groan]
Hyde: Hey, what's wrong?
Fez: I don't know. I think my guts are bursting with love.

Kitty: Well, you're in luck, Fez. The bars closed early today, so we found a doctor to do your surgery. [laughs]

Kitty: Oh. Good. I see they've already shaved you.
Fez: Actually, I did that myself. Lucky coincidence, huh?
Kitty: Okay, then. Time for sleepy-sleepy. Okay, now, count back from 100.
Fez: 100. 99. Charlie's Angels.
[dream sequence:]
Fez: [v.o.] Once upon a time, there were three little girls who went to the police academy. Now they work for me. My name is Fez.
Donna: Stand back.
Jackie: And remember, girls, this one's for Fez.
[Donna, Jackie and Laurie kick down a door and find Kelso standing over a detonator]
Laurie: This is your unlucky day, now that Fez's Angels are here.
Kelso: Don't move. I'm gonna blow up Fez headquarters. I can't bear to see any of you with such a handsome, foreign sex machine. This is gonna be a blast.
Jackie: Whatever.
[Jackie grabs Michael, Laurie kicks him, and Jackie pushes him into a barrel]
Donna: You're a real barrel of laughs. [all laugh]
[later, the angels sit in Fez's office as they listen to him on the phone]
Fez: [on the phone] Congratulations, and a job well done, Angels.
All: Thank you, Fez.
Laurie: Are we going to see you soon?
[Fez has his back to the camera as he sits in a hot tub full of attractive women]
Fez: No, I can't get away. I'm in a little hot water right now.

[dream sequence:]
Jackie: Fez. Fez, honey? Oh, thank God you pulled through. I was afraid you'd die before I got to tell you... I love you.
Fez: No, no, Jackie. No sex now. We must wait.
Jackie: Until we're married?
Fez: No. Until the catheter comes out.
[reality:]
Kitty: Fez? Fez? Fez? Fez?
Fez: I told you, no sex now!