‘Valentine's Day’
Season 2, Episode 14 - Aired February 9, 2017
On Valentine's Day, Amy and Glenn try to set Myrtle up with Arthur (Bernie Kopell). Meanwhile, Sandra's fictitious relationship with Jeff is starting to make Mateo jealous.
Quote from Dina
Jonah: I could do it. I've always wanted to go undercover.
Dina: [chuckles] You? Okay, yeah, you're way underqualified.
Jonah: What do you need to be qualified?
Dina: You need to watch a video.
Jonah: I could watch a video.
Dina: You could watch a video.
Quote from Amy
Arthur: Hello. Welcome to Cloud 9. And you must be the little princess we've been expecting.
Right this way, Your Highness. [Myrtle walks by] M...
Amy: Hey, Arthur, I might be totally off base here, but do you have a crush on Myrtle?
Arthur: Oh, no. I... Well, maybe just a little crush.
Amy: Oh, that's so sweet.
Arthur: I like to imagine the two of us together someday feeding the ducks...
Amy: Oh.
Arthur: Watching the ducks. It doesn't have to be ducks.
Amy: No. It can be ducks.
Quote from Dina
Dina: [quietly] You're doing great. Good, good, good. Just keep thinking, "Customer, customer." I'm shopping as a customer."
Jonah: Okay, okay, thank you.
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: Hey, Jonah. Do you think Elias and Pauline would be good together, or am I just projecting Laurel and Hardy?
Jonah: I think you have me confused with someone else.
Glenn: Oh, wow. I'm... I'm so sorry. I... You look exactly like someone who works here. I'm so sorry. Wow, it's uncanny.
Quote from Cheyenne
Amy: Arthur, we're switching things up a bit today. I'm gonna have you tackle Womenswear with Myrtle, and Cheyenne here is gonna take your post.
Cheyenne: You want me to be a greeter? I'm not trained in that.
Amy: You'll be fine. I believe in you.
Cheyenne: [to a customer] Hello. Welcome to Cloud 9. Ooh, yeah, I nailed that.
Quote from Cheyenne
Cheyenne: Oh, welcome to Cloud 9. Welcome to Cloud 9. Cloud 9 welcomes you. [high fives customer]
Quote from Dina
Dina: That's right, chat her up. Just a normal person having a normal conversation. Speak, listen, speak, listen.
Garrett: Ooh, look at him getting some on V-Day.
Dina: What are you talking about? He is undercover. He's just building a rapport with the suspect. I mean, that's why they're talking and laughing so much, standing so close. He just touched her elbow with his hand. Huh.
Quote from Glenn
Man: [on phone] So Myrtle has filed sexual harassment complaints against Arthur as well as the two of you.
Amy: That's crazy. We didn't harass her.
Man: [on phone] She's alleging that you used your positions of authority to force her to work with an employee in hopes of engaging in a physical relationship with him. And she also claims you broke into her locker. Now, what's your side of the story?
Amy: Um, factually similar.
Glenn: Yeah, but you can prove anything with facts. I mean, Darwin...
Man: [on phone] She goes on to say that he made lewd and profane comments.
Amy: Arthur? He's so sweet.
Glenn: We had no idea what he was saying to her. The security cameras don't have sound.
Man: [on phone] I'm sorry, are you saying that you were spying on them as well?
Glenn: No, spying makes it sound like we were trying to get information. We were just watching them for our own pleasure.
Amy: Stop talking, Glenn.
Quote from Cheyenne
Cheyenne: Welcome to Cloud 9. Welcome to Cloud 9. Hey, it's Cloud 9 up in here. [chuckles]
Quote from Mateo
Mateo: Jeff got her a watch. I would have liked a watch.
Cheyenne: But she sent it to herself.
Mateo: Yeah, I know she sent it to herself. I'm not stupid.
Cheyenne: You know, it's just sad that she feels the need to...
Mateo: White gold? Oh, my God. That's her favorite. It's like he knows exactly what she wants.