Justine: I told them how Mateo and I are BFFs. Tay-Tay and Tine-Tine: the slut squad.
Amy: Wait, you talked to Richard too?
Justine: Yeah, and I said how Mateo's always serving up the tea, like when he told that lost little girl that she was better off now because her mommy was hot trash.
Jonah: Classic slut squad tea.
Amy: No, Justine, we're supposed to be proving that Mateo has good moral character. Why would you tell the lawyer that?
Justine: I was under oath.
Amy: No, you're not under oath, Justine! Everybody knows that!

Jonah: You know, the more you deny that there's a party, the more she's gonna think it's actually happening.
Dina: Well, that's textbook psychosis.
Jonah: Why don't you just throw her one?
Dina: Look, I know you like to be everyone's manic pixie dream girl, but that's not how I live my life. And an engagement party is clearly not on my list of duties.
Jonah: It's just one extra thing.
Dina: If I start doing extra things that aren't on the list, she'll start asking for other things that aren't on the list. Do you know how many things aren't on the list, Jonah?
Jonah: Do you want me to actually answer...
Dina: Buying her a zoo. Managing the zoo. Hiring an experienced staff. Euthanizing the giraffe when it gets sick.
Jonah: Why are these all zoo-based?
Dina: So you want me to start with zoo things and then go to other topics and then switch back to zoo stuff? Do you hear yourself?

Amy: And finally, good news: Mateo's bond hearing has been scheduled. His aunt's bringing his lawyer by to get a statement from me today.
Marcus: Remember, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Jonah: Excellent point, but she's just providing a character testimony to help with his case.
Amy: Yeah, all I have to do is tell him that Mateo is a vital employee.
Cheyenne: Oh, that's how they get you. Next thing you know, they'll be asking you, "Where were you April 25th?" and you'll be like, "I don't know," and then they'll be like, "Well, then, why are your fingerprints all over this dead body?"
Glenn: Amy, please be careful.
Amy: Yes. Okay, I will be careful in case Mateo's immigration lawyer wants to frame me for murder.
Glenn: Yes.

Mateo: [phone buzzes] [scoffs] Jeff again. It's, like, the fifth time in a row.
Cheyenne: I honestly feel like calling someone is one of the worst things you can do to them.
Mateo: I know, right?

Sandra: Rise up. Stand up for your rights. Power to the people. Cute top!
Amy: Hey, Sandra. Um, handing out some flyers?
Sandra: Yeah, do you want one?
Jonah: Sandra says "no" to hate and "yes" to freedom. Seems uncontroversial.
Sandra: I'm not a hero.

Sandra: We have a right to healthy air quality and adequate airflow. Do you feel any airflow? 'Cause I don't feel any airflow.

Sandra: Amy, could I say a few words?
Amy: Um, okay.
Sandra: [stands up] Screw management!
Amy: Okay.
Sandra: Once we clock out Amy can't make us do a damn thing. If you see a loose cart in the parking lot, you can kick it over or shove it into traffic.
Jonah: Seems like just as much work?
Sandra: Also, managers can't give us polygraph tests.
Amy: I wasn't planning on giving anyone a polygraph test.
Sandra: Well, good. 'Cause we ain't taking one, Amy.
Cheyenne: Mm-hmm.
Sandra: Stay strong, people.
Marcus: Whoo! [claps]

Amy: Guys, look, you know how corporate just kept cutting back our hours and cutting back our hours?
All: Yeah.
Glenn: I know they have.
Amy: Well-
Sandra: Well, sometimes you just got to say, "Enough with the [bleep]."
All: Yeah!
Sandra: It's like, you can only get pushed around so much before you say, "No! This isn't fair." This isn't right."
Jonah: What is happening?
Amy: I have no idea.
Glenn: What are you gonna do?
Sandra: We're gonna- We're gonna stand up.
Marcus: That's right.
Sandra: And we're gonna stay strong.
Marcus: There she is.
Glenn: Yep, that's it.
Sandra: And we need to unionize! [all cheer] This is just the beginning! Yeah! [all cheer]
All: [chant] Sandra! Sandra! Sandra! Sandra! Sandra! Sandra! Sandra! Sandra! Sandra! Sandra!

Jonah: Hey, Sandra.
Amy: What's going on? Where are you going?
Sandra: I just got fired. I don't know what happened. Luanne said I was the one who was tweeting, but I swear to God, it wasn't me.
Amy: No, we know.
Jonah: Yeah, don't worry. We are not gonna let this happen.
Amy: We're gonna fix this.
Sandra: I never even joined Twitter 'cause I was thinking of running for City Council, and you know how my humor can get a little edgy.

Cheyenne: What is all this stuff?
Glenn: Well, it's just junk we've had in our attic that we've been meaning to throw out, you know. Jerusha's dad was a collector of both things and, as it turned out later, wives. But, anyway, is any of it valuable?
Mateo: [sighs] I mean, a flattened penny from Niagara Falls that's worth less than a penny. Some random keys. Ka-ching! A Neil Diamond cassette tape?
Glenn: [gasps] Oh, I'll keep that. I've been meaning to check him out.
Cheyenne: What about these baseball cards? Mickey Mantle wasn't he someone?
Glenn: I don't know. I've never really been a fan of men's baseball.
Mateo: This is from the first year he ever played, like, before he was even famous.
Glenn: Oh, it was worth a shot. [throws card in trash]
Cheyenne: Action Comics Superman, 1938. Wow, this is so old. [rips magazine] That doesn't even look like Dean Cain.
Glenn: Yeah.