Amy: Okay, so they wouldn't be sending someone all the way out here if it was just about sales. I mean, my guess is they're looking at soft factors, like aesthetics and customer experience.
Jonah: Oh, boy, you think they're gonna be looking at the Quincy store?
Glenn: We're up against the Quincy Cloud 9, the jewel of St. Louis? The whole place is so clean and beautiful, and they got the skylight and the fresh-cut flowers, and their customers are so pleasant to look at. I mean, not one of them makes you wince when you see them. How do they do that?
Jonah: Yeah, we do seem to have a high wince factor.
Amy: I mean, I think that, just for today, it would be okay to turn away some of our more colorful clientele.
Dina: No weirdos, no uggos. I'm on it.
Glenn: Well, wait, I'm gonna go with you, 'cause weirdos have feelings too.
Dina: You're right. I should be more sensitive. I gotta remember, I've got a cousin that's a weirdo.

Jonah: So if we're gonna be putting our best foot forward, should we just be sending our worst employees home?
Amy: Well, I'm worried that if you start pulling that thread, pretty soon...
Jonah: Yeah, no sweater.
Amy: Yeah.

Jonah: Okay, listen up. The Zephra analyst will be here this afternoon. Our only chance of survival is if she believes that this is the best Cloud 9 around.
Amy: We have to be the perfect store.
Mateo: Uh... [laughs] Is the analyst Glenn? 'Cause if not, that's a tough sell.
Amy: Well, we'll do what we can. We'll make it more homey with... with nice smells and... and nice sounds, and we could throw some flowers at her. Don't actually throw them. Just put them places.

Cheyenne: Okay, I gave Justine a muscle relaxer and put her in her car. She keeps mumbling about feet, but that's not a forever thing, I don't think.
Glenn: This is horrible. I mean, we've had severed feet before, but just a sprinkling, you know, once in a while.
Dina: It's okay. We know the drill. I'll call Curtis at the police station. He's our go-to for any recovered body parts.
Jonah: Now, hang on, hang on. Before we turn this into a full-on crime scene, what if, hypothetically, we didn't find this bag of feet until after the Zephra analyst left?
Cheyenne: Do you mean just, like, ignore the bag of gross, dead feet in the middle of the floor?
Amy: I mean, it would be safer to move it to the back.
Dina: Safer for who? The foot slicer you're suddenly trying to aid and abet?
Amy: Yeah, Dina, you got me. I'm in on it. I just happened to show up in the store the day a bag of feet was discovered, and... Okay, that sounds more plausible than I... I'm not in on it!

Glenn: This looks completely natural. Just a drink display in the bedding section.
Amy: Obviously, the bag of feet stays between us until we can call it in.
Cheyenne: Yeah, just real quick. I did mention it to Mateo.
Garrett: A bag full of feet? [all shushing]
Cheyenne: Mateo, I told you not to tell.
Mateo: I only told these two. Also, I texted Eric, and he told his work, but that's it. [Amy groans]
Jonah: This is so not a big deal, okay? I mean, of course, it is for the victims' families, or, who knows, maybe there's no victims. You know, maybe it's just a med school prankster.
Dina: Or a grave robber or morgue bandit.
Amy: Let's just stop guessing and not tell anybody else.
Glenn: Yeah, and don't worry that God is gonna be mad or hold us in judgement. We're doing the right thing, or at least we will be in a few hours when we stop doing this.

Cheyenne: Ooh, Dido just texted. The analyst is here.
Jonah: Okay, it's go time. Janet's outside on freak watch. Glenn, you guard the duffel bag and keep tall people away. I'm gonna cover Megan, and Amy's gonna coordinate from the back.
Amy: Exactly, because Megan and I have been in work meetings together, so she knows what I look like.
Dina: Mm, does she? Or do you just know what she looks like? Doesn't always go both ways.
Amy: She knows who I am, Dina.

Dina: Hey. I thought you might want a snack since you're stuck back here.
Amy: So you thought I was gonna eat five bags of Doritos?
Dina: No, I just wanted to give you flavor options. I'll put the rest of them back.
Amy: No, I don't want to make more work for you.
Dina: Thank you. Very thoughtful. Hey, it really means a lot that you came back here even knowing you'd have to deal with the Jonah of it all.
Amy: Yeah, well, I mean, it's less weird than I thought it would be. It's actually kinda nice. I mean, it's nice to see everybody. Anyway, so you're really not with Garrett?
Dina: Oh, he wishes. Yeah, he's obsessed with me. I'll take pity on him. We go to the odd dinner. I spend, like, three nights a week at his house. We take weekend trips. [laughs] He loves it. It's pathetic.

Megan: [on the phone] Hey, sorry to make you hop on a call.
Amy: Oh, please. Come on. We are in a pandemic, girl. I'm either talking to you or my houseplants. [chuckles]
Megan: Don't you have two children?
Amy: I do. Yeah, I do. Uh, so what's up?
Megan: Well, I was looking at the store schematics, and the café and pharmacy are complete flipped. Just wanna make sure you sent the right ones.
Amy: Oh, yeah, actually, when the tornado happened...
Garrett: [enters] Hey, you know, I think it's really messed up that you came all the way back here and you haven't even said hi to me.
Amy: I'm so sorry, Megan, um, my neighbor just barged in. That work-from-home life, am I right?
Garrett: Also, you left your trash cans in my driveway.
Amy: Whoa, was that just an earthquake? Nope. False alarm. You never do know out here in California.

Glenn: Sorry, sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to step back a few feet. I mean yards. Yards, you know. Forget what I said about feet. Just forget it.
Jonah: You good, Glenn?
Glenn: No, I'm not good. Tell me, how do you think he removed them? Do you think maybe they just fell off like acorns?
Jonah: You know what, buddy? Maybe.

Marcus: Feet!
Jonah: No, no, Marcus! Shh!
Marcus: No, you don't understand, there's a bunch of [bleep] feet here. I just came to move these out of bedding, 'cause, like, why are there drinks here? And then boom! Six [bleep] severed feet!
Jonah: Well, it's eight, but it's fine. Just calm down, and we'll explain everything.
Woman: I'm sorry, did you just say "severed feet"?
Glenn: Yeah, but we're pretty sure they just fell off like acorns.
Marcus: Why are you guys acting like this is normal? It's [bleep] sick! There's eight feet in a duffel bag!
Jonah: Wow, that's crazy. Yeah, I don't remember that, but Lost did get pretty weird at the end.
Marcus: Ah, this is so disgusting and scary. This is what I'll think about every time I come into the store.
Jonah: Marcus! Stop.