Cheyenne: [to Jonah] Try doing this job six months pregnant.
Amy: Yeah, seriously. That's brutal.
Jonah: I didn't know you were pregnant too.
Amy: I was when I was 19. Then I gave birth to my daughter. So I'm not pregnant now, but thank you for thinking so.
Jonah: I didn't mean you look pregnant. I just meant...
Garrett: Eject. Eject!
Jonah: I didn't know that you had a child. I... listen... that's... I think that's beautiful. Really, I'm in awe of single mothers, so...
Amy: I'm married.
Garrett: Ooh! You should've just ejected, man.

Cheyenne: Why are you in awe of single mothers?
Jonah: I just think it's... it's very brave to have a child, especially at your age.
Cheyenne: Well, I didn't set out to have a baby. Came from sex.
Jonah: Right. Sure. Uh, but you... you bravely made the decision to go through with it.
Cheyenne: Well, I couldn't get a ride to Planned Parenthood.
Jonah: Well, if you ever need one in the future.
Glenn: Jonah, I'd prefer if you didn't offer to shuttle our employees to the abortion clinic.
Jonah: No, I meant rides in general.

Garrett: I mean, it's kind of unbelievable, right?
Amy: They're definitely pretty similar.
Jonah: Uh, I don't see it.
Garrett: Now I get why you looked familiar when you started working here. At first, I thought you were this white dude from my middle school who wore his pants backwards like Kris Kross, but nah, you him.

Glenn: I'm also here if you want to talk about stuff. I've raised a lot of foster children.
Cheyenne: Oh, okay. Well, thanks, Glenn. That means a lot.
Glenn: And if you do decide that adoption is the way you want to go and you feel weird about a stranger, well, maybe Jerusha and I could adopt it.
Cheyenne: Really?
Glenn: We've always wanted a baby of our own. I mean, foster children are a blessing, but it's as if you've been driving used cars your whole life. Just once it would be nice to experience a brand-new one, straight from the factory, that hasn't been all dinged up, you know?
Cheyenne: Okay. Well, thanks, Glenn. We'll keep you in mind.
Glenn: Great. Of course, it's up to you. Bye-bye. [high fives a female customer]

Amy: It looks exactly like him.
Garrett: Oh! Oh, hey, man. Meet our new employee. Jonah, meet Jonah.
Jonah: He's got my... you put my clothes on him. That's funny. The name tag, and... So everybody thinks he looks like me?
Garrett: Eh, not exactly like you. You're a little bit more like, "Hey, it's me, Jonah. I like to eat croissants." [laughter]
Jonah: Is that something I say?
Garrett: It sounds like something you would say.
Amy: Yeah, or like, [refined accent] "Have you seen this documentary? It will change your life." [laughter]
Jonah: Sounds kind of British.
Mateo: [refined accent] "I pretend to like jazz, because it makes me seem cultured."
Amy: "I'm Jonah. I peel bananas weird."
Jonah: Well, that's actually a life hack. So... The stems create a natural holding stick. That's why the monkeys do it. [chuckles] It's, um... I saw that in a... in a documentary.

Cheyenne: Oh, my gosh!
Dina: Word on the street is there's a baby up for grabs.
Cheyenne: Huh? Oh... oh. Yeah. We're just thinking, maybe, about adoption. It's a tough call. I'm so young, and it's a lot of responsibility, but at the same time...
Dina: Uh-huh, uh-huh. I'd like to throw my hat in the ring.
Cheyenne: You?
Dina: Yeah, a baby's been part of my life plan since I was ten. I've got a crap load of love to give. Anyway, here are the facts: I have a comfortable lap, I can get a burp out of anybody, and I already lactate as a side effect from some fungal medication I'm taking.
Cheyenne: Cool.
Dina: It is not cool. It is disgusting, if you want to know the truth, but in this case, useful. The point is, if you go down the adoption road, you could do a heck of a lot worse than me. Like Glenn, for instance. He'd be a lot worse.

Jonah: [to customer] Okay. I think that is all of our princess party supplies. I hope your cat has a wonderful birthday.
[Jonah sees the "Jonah mannequin" is now dressed and positioned like a figure skater]
Jonah: Ah! Call that teasing? Because figure skating is one of the few sports that is also an art. So, if anything, thank you.

Mateo: Let me just... [grabs shift assignments] Oh... Reggie, thanks for looking at me weird. I hope you like the meat freezer.

Mateo: Okay. Shift assignments. Margie, who shushed me this morning when I was singing. Oh, look. You are unpacking stock in the freezer. Derek, also in the freezer. Rebecca, who is icy to me, cosmetics. Kidding! Freezer!
Carol: Um, where's Amy?
Mateo: Amy is busy. And you just talked your way into the freezer.

Jonah: I was trying to get rid of the mannequin because it was becoming a distraction.
Amy: Just admit that my fun pranks got to you, and that maybe you're the sensitive one.
Jonah: No, there's a difference between being sensitive and being annoyed. You would understand if someone did the same thing to you. [to a blonde, Caucasian mannequin] What? Amy, what are you doing here?
Amy: No. Jonah, that looks nothing like me.
Jonah: Oh. Looks like I touched a nerve, huh?
Amy: No.