Cheyenne: [heavy breathing]
Amy: The company's targeted maneuvers are also a direct reflection of its mission. It reads, "Cloud 9's mission statement is a lower price point" "creates a..." Okay, I'm sorry. Cheyenne? You okay?
Cheyenne: [gasps] I'm fine. I just... [gasps] The baby's compressing my lungs... [gasps] And making it really hard for me to just take a full breath. But I'm okay.
Amy: No, you're not okay. You almost gave birth to your child in the store yesterday.
Garrett: Yeah, dude, I wish I had an excuse this good to ditch work.
Cheyenne: I can't go home. I need the hours, you know? For this little girl. [gasps] Oh!
Glenn: Did it kick?
Cheyenne: No, I just... I touch myself here and it makes me pee a little bit.

Jonah: This is ridiculous. She shouldn't have to kill herself just to have a baby. Did you guys know that in every other first-world nation, paid maternity leave is just automatic?
Garrett: Whoa, no, no, you are not gonna forward us another article.

Amy: Each of us would officially take a sick day, but we'd still come in, and we'd clock in as Cheyenne, so that she can take the day off, but still get paid.
Mateo: Right. And she can just pay us back later?

Steve: Now we're going to do a little role-playing exercise, and I've roped in your manager, Glenn, here to help me out. Um, okay. Thank you. You're gonna play a union organizer, and you're gonna try to get me to sign this union card. Okay?
Glenn: Sure. All right. Hi, hello. My name's Steve, and the union...
Steve: Okay. You know what? You're doing great. But my name is Steve, so that might be a little confusing for everyone. So maybe pick another name.
Glenn: Okay, sure. Sorry. I'm just a little nervous.
Steve: You're doing great.
Glenn: All right. Um, hi. My name's... Steve.
Steve: All right. I'm gonna be the Steve in this scene, right? So...
Glenn: All right, all right. You're Steve. Okay. Sorry, misunderstanding.
Steve: You're doing great.
Glenn: Okay. All right. Hello there, Steve. My name's... Steve.
Steve: Literally, you know what? Any other name in the entire universe?
Glenn: [long pause] Steve.
Steve: Okay, you know what? Let's give Glenn a round of applause. You did great. No worries.

Steve: All right. Maybe a different volunteer. How about you with the purple polo? Thank you for that, Dina. Dina's gonna be our union organizer, and she's gonna try to get me to sign this union card. Let's see if Dina is up for the challenge.
Dina: Okay. Hey, how'd you like to join a union?
Steve: No, thanks. I don't need to. Cloud 9 already listens to my concerns.
Dina: I really think it'd be in your best interests to sign this card.
Steve: Please don't bully me. I do not need to pay someone to speak for me. See? I shut her down. Those are two examples.
Dina: Stop interrupting me. You will sign this card or I will choke the life out of you.
Steve: Whoa. Wow. And the Oscar goes to Dina. Right? See, she was playing a character there that was...
Dina: Oh, I'm not playing a character. This is me, Dina, talking to you, union buster Steve. I'm in a dark place right now, and quite frankly, I have nothing left to lose. So you will sign this [bleep] card, or I will be waiting for you in the parking lot at the end of the night, where I will wrap my hands around that tiny chicken neck of yours and stare deep into your eyes while I watch the lights go out.
Steve: Let's take a break.

Jonah: It's not just about Cheyenne. It's about all of us. We're the people that make this company run. They need to start treating us better. Like Mateo... what was it you were complaining about yesterday?
Mateo: Oh.
Jonah: Remember?
Mateo: Yeah. Why are our customers so ugly?
Garrett: Mm, yeah.
Jonah: No, how they keep us under 40 hours so they don't have to give us benefits?
Mateo: Oh, right, yeah. That sucks too.

Sandra: I haven't had a raise in five years.
Jonah: There you go.
Sandra: I mean, not to complain. Sorry, I'm babbling. Sorry.

Jonah: So you just want everything to stay exactly the same? That's ridiculous! What if Rosa Parks...
Garrett: Whoa.
Jonah: Got it. Amped up, sorry.

Glenn: Look at him. Mister big pants. Just waiting for us to slip up so he can bring the hammer down.
Amy: I think he's just having a coffee.
Glenn: Oh, come on. Mister big pants. Just swinging that big old wiener around.
Amy: And we're back to wiener.

Dina: Here. I was told to hand you these to read, 'cause that's my job now. I drop off pieces of paper. [hands Garrett piece of paper] Look at that. Nailed it.
Garrett: Hey, you want to read one?
Dina: Me?
Garrett: I mean, it's not exactly like being the boss, but it has sort of a voice of God quality about it. Everyone has to listen to you.
Dina: [over PA] Attention, Cloud 9 shoppers. We are offering a 10% discount on all wrapping paper and gift bags. Come check out this heavenly deal. [stops] Oh.
Garrett: Feels powerful, right?
Dina: No, I just never realized my voice had just such a weak, tinny quality.
Garrett: No, you've got a nice voice.
Dina: No, you've succeeded in humiliating me. [mocking] "You've succeeded in humiliating me." That's me. That's what I sound like.
Garrett: You don't sound anything like...
Dina: Stop making me talk. This is a nightmare.