Dina: Okay, it's your turn to field coupon complaints. They're getting feisty out there. An old man shook his cane at me... Flirtatiously at first, but then it got mean.

Glenn: Wait, what if Zephra is already controlling your mind and you don't even know it?
Dina: Glenn, I promise you Zephra is not controlling my mind.
Glenn: Yeah, but they might be making you say that.
Dina: Okay, would they make me say this? Zephra is an inferior company. Their tablets barely hold a charge.
Glenn: Hmm. Yes, because they want you to convince me that they're not making you say things.
Dina: The fact that you think they're controlling your mind is proof that they're not controlling your mind because they wouldn't want you to be aware that... What am I doing?

Dina: Effective immediately, there will be no more talk about conspiracy theories.
Jonah: Well, there goes my afternoon. What's this about?
Glenn: Some people think that Zephra's maybe trying to control our minds, but they're not, you know, even if it seems like they are because of what they're making us say and do.
Dina: Okay, it doesn't matter what it seems like, because we're no longer gonna entertain talking about these crackpot theories.

Glenn: Just like we might be afraid of what we'd find in the Zephra-only room, which is probably nothing so we should just blindly trust Zephra and get back to work.

Garrett: Hey, man, did you text Randy?
Jonah: Uh, well, I tried to. I asked him if he remembered me being mad when I came home that night, but I just got a "Sorry, wrong number" text.
Garrett: Yeah, you texted him 12 times in 3 minutes. He texted you that so you would stop.
Jonah: Oh, okay, so then he's obviously still feeling bad about it.
Garrett: Feeling bad? No, Randy does not remember, okay? Randy barely even remembers watching Dune. Randy smokes a lot of weed. Leave him alone.
Jonah: Okay, fine, but I'm not gonna apologize for caring, okay? You're an important person in my life, Garrett. A lot of men are scared to say things like that, but not me. I'll tell you exactly how much you mean to me to your face.
Garrett: Please don't.
Jonah: Too late. I'm already doing it. I value your taste in music. Okay?
Garrett: Oh, boy.
Jonah: Sometimes I save screenshots of texts that you send me.
Garrett: What, why would you do that?
Jonah: I don't know. To... To revisit them and laugh or to send them back to you at the perfect moment, like June 12, 2018... Eye roll, "I'm never getting married." You think I'm not gonna throw that back at you at your wedding?

Garrett: So, uh, what do we think of Havarti cheese?
Jonah: [sighs] I don't know. It's a cheese.
Garrett: All right. You know what, man? This needs to stop. You're over here playing the victim, but you don't even remember all the times that you hurt my feelings.
Jonah: Oh, yeah, what did I do, rank the Predator movies wrong?
Garrett: No, but there was one time I told you I was gonna make dinner. I went all out. I went to, like, three different grocery stores, and then you just texted me and told me you were having dinner with Amy. Totally forgot about it.
Jonah: Oh, well, why didn't you say anything?
Garrett: Because why bring something up just to make your friend feel bad?
Jonah: Garrett, I-I feel terrible. I- I don't even remember.
Garrett: Huh, it's funny how that happens, huh?
Jonah: This is good. This is the communication that we need, you know? This is... This is good for us. Havarti, great cheese on a sandwich, but it's got kind of a creamy body, and so if you're gonna be putting it on the sandwich, it needs to be layered with maybe a crunch...

Garrett: Hey, buddy. You thinking about buying a sled?
Glenn: I don't know. Maybe the sled will buy me. I don't know how anything works here anymore.
Jonah: Oh, Glenn, should you be drinking that with your diabetes?
Glenn: No!

Jonah: Glenn, you're not quitting.
Glenn: I don't know. It's all changing on me. This isn't the company I signed up to work for after they drove my family hardware store out of business.
Dina: Well, that doesn't mean that you should quit, unless you want to quit, in which case I do have a resignation letter prewritten for you. You'd just need to sign and date it.
Jonah: Okay, look, there's a lot of new stuff getting thrown at you right now, and... and, yes, of course it's gonna be difficult to adapt, but you're gonna be okay... You've got this.
Glenn: Jonah, thank you for believing in me. But you're wrong. I hate to adapt. Dina, go get that letter.
Dina: On it.

Garrett: Whoa, whoa, hold on a second. We just got another memo from Zephra, and it says we can say "heavenly day" again.
Dina: Well, I didn't get that memo. Must've been when the servers went down.
Garrett: Turns out that corporate got Glenn's email after all, and it totally changed their minds.
Glenn: It did?
Jonah: You know what? I- I saw that memo, too. Good job, Glenn.
Glenn: Thank you.
Dina: I keep refreshing, but there's nothing. What time was it sent?
Garrett: Don't know, Dina. But what I do know is we can say "have a heavenly day" now, and that's a great thing because that means we don't have to go crazy.
Dina: Oh, oh, yes. Now that you say that, I realize I have also received and read that email.
Glenn: I guess this old dog's got a little fight left in him, huh? Who's doing the mind control now?

Dina: That memo was fake, right?
Garrett: 100%.
Dina: Oh, I'm just gonna double-check that I am on the email list. [walks away]
Jonah: Nice job.
Garrett: Yep, sometimes people just need to hear the right lie to move on with their lives.
Jonah: Hmm. But... But not with me. That happened, right, the dinner? That wasn't just a lie I needed to... hear?
Garrett: Later.