Mateo: I'm telling you they would freak out.
Cheyenne: I don't know. Would people actually believe that I put bees in your sandwich? I mean, like, where do we even get a bunch of dead bees?
Mateo: I think we just use raisins, and I sell it.

Glenn: So turns out that very aggressive redhead who came in yesterday was not Carrot Top. [all groan]
Dina: I know. We've reviewed the tape several times and can't in good conscious call it a match.
Jonah: I'm sorry, guys. I guess I just saw what I wanted to see.
Sandra: But he posed for so many photos with me.

Dina: Next up, we're running short on reusable bags.
Cheyenne: Oh, we can just use the ones under Mateo's eyes.
All: Oh!
Justine: Savage.
Garrett: Mm...
Jonah: Are you guys still beefing? I'm honestly impressed with the commitment.

Dina: I have to open early, so let's just stick to one round tonight. Oh, and make sure to text the group chain when you arrive.
Garrett: Are we sure that Brian needs to know the exact time that we're having sex?
Dina: Hey, successful polyamory requires complete, constant communication. Speaking of, I read your postcoital report from last night. You didn't fill in emotional state.
Garrett: Hungry and sleepy, that's usually where I'm at.

Woman: Excuse me, do you have gay iPad cases?
Glenn: Uh, yeah, in electronics. Have a heavenly day.
Dina: Wait, you didn't hear about that either?
Glenn: What?
Dina: Oh, today is fun for me. Zephra's asking that we no longer use the term "heavenly day."
Glenn: What?
Dina: Yeah, there was a memo. They feel it's a little loaded.
Glenn: Yeah. Yeah, it's loaded with kindness! It's the same thing as saying "have a nice day" or "have a good day."
Dina: Great. Then say one of those instead.
Glenn: To the customers? I might as well give 'em the middle finger.

Justine: You were killing it this morning. When you said that protection thing to Cheyenne, I legit peed a little, and not even that little.
Mateo: Well, thanks. Although, credit should really go to Cheyenne for not being able to keep it in her pants. [laughter]

Mateo: What the hell?
Cheyenne: Oh, whoops. I don't know how that unflattering photo of you ended up on all these screens. Let me change it. [Mateo gasps] [Justine laughs]
Isaac: He looks like one of those little boy-band boys!
Mateo: At the time, that was the best hair you could have.
Janet: Uh-huh.

Mateo: Okay. Do you guys know every time you see Cheyenne hanging around the cell phone kiosk, it's 'cause that's where she goes to fart. [Cheyenne gasps]
Janet: Ew.
Cheyenne: Blowing up my fart spot is messed up.
Mateo: You're messed up.
Cheyenne: You're messed up.
Mateo: You're messed up.

Jonah: Man, those two are pissed at each other. This is bigger than our Dune fight. [chuckles]
Garrett: What's a Dune fight?
Jonah: When we were roommates, remember? I came home, and you and Randy were watching the director's cut of Dune without me, even though I specifically said that I wanted to.
Garrett: I mean, I remember watching Dune with Randy, but you were there?
Jonah: No, no. That's why I was so pissed, remember? And then... And then to get you back, I made six branzinos and stunk up the place.
Garrett: That's why you did that? I thought you were just premaking your meals for the workweek.
Jonah: You thought I was gonna eat a branzino every day for a week?
Garrett: I don't monitor your fish intake.
Jonah: Do you seriously not remember? That was, like, our first big fight. But whatever. No bigs.

Glenn: Hey, guys, I need some computer help. I'm trying to email my friend Gary at Cloud 9 corporate, you know, about them making us say, "have a non-heavenly day."
Jonah: Oh, I'm not sure that's what they were going for. I think they're just trying to play it safe, you know, 'cause some people don't believe in Heaven. [awkward silence]
Glenn: Anyway, every time I email him, I keep getting this weird message back from a mailer demon.
Garrett: Oh, that just means a demon ate your friend Gary's soul.
Jonah: What? No, it's mailer-daemon. It means that the email doesn't exist anymore. I'm sure there was a whole bunch of reshuffling at corporate when Zephra took over.
Glenn: So no more Gary, no more Heaven, just more computers and demons.