Glenn Quote #672

Quote from Glenn in Conspiracy

Glenn: I'm sorry. Just... I started doing some research, and I came across this article, "The Truth About Zephra." I think there's some fishy business going on.
Dina: Oh, like tax evasion, offshore banking? What are we talking here?
Glenn: You know how everyone's pushing this 5G? Well, turns out 5 is the worst of the Gs. They say that it hits your brain at a certain frequency that lets them control human behavior.
Dina: You think Zephra's involved in mind control? Okay, that's enough screen time for you.
Glenn: No, it's not that I believe in mind control, but they are trying to control how we greet customers.
Dina: Glenn, enough. This is why old people shouldn't be allowed on the Internet.


 ‘Conspiracy’ Quotes

Quote from Cheyenne

Mateo: What if we had a big public blowout, you know, and we dropped some major bombs?
Cheyenne: Okay, yeah, what if you come at me like, "I know what you did!"
Mateo: Okay. And then you'd be like, "And I know you were only friends with me to get close to Bo because you're in love with him." [Cheyenne gasps] Do you see how I moved the story forward?
Cheyenne: Mm-hmm.
Mateo: Yours was just like attitude, which is fine.
Cheyenne: Yeah, ooh, and then it could come out that you're Harmonica's real father.
Mateo: So her parents are me and Bo?
Cheyenne: Yeah, imagine how pissed I'd be.
Mateo: Let's not commit to anything just yet, but we should definitely jot some ideas down.

Quote from Dina

Glenn: Hey, Dina, we got a problem at the registers. They're not accepting coupons.
Dina: Didn't you get that email? We're only accepting digital coupons now.
Glenn: What?
Dina: Zephra's just updating things a little.
Glenn: It seems crazy to change something that's working.
Dina: The horse and buggy was working. It seemed crazy to stop using that, but then they developed the car, and... Well, that destroyed the planet. That's a bad example.

 Glenn Sturgis Quotes

Quote from All Sales Final

Jonah: So... retirement, huh? Got any big plans?
Glenn: Yeah, I think I might finally watch The Queen's Gambit.
Jonah: Okay, so that's... seven episodes. What else?
Glenn: Well, I hadn't really thought much beyond that. Gosh, I guess there's gonna be a lot of hours to fill, huh?
Jonah: Yeah, yeah, but that's a good thing, right, Glenn? I mean, I'm sure you've got hobbies.
Glenn: No, 'cause work is all I've ever known, Jonah. I mean, I started at my dad's hardware store when I was eight, and before that, I worked at the tollbooth.
Jonah: Glenn, I'm sure you're gonna be fine. I- There's gotta be something that you can do.
Glenn: Well, what if I got a 500 piece puzzle? That'd take up some time, right?
Jonah: Some.
Glenn: What, you want me to get a 1,000 piece puzzle? How much table space do you think I have, Jonah?

Quote from Biscuit

Glenn: It is so nice to be out of quarantine and back running this store. God, I so missed talking to real people. You know, sometimes I pretended that the Nativity figurines in my garage were you guys. [to Jonah] You were the baby Jesus.
Jonah: That's... great. Thank you.